40 Before 40

Wow..it's almost December, eh? Time really flies.

Last night I went on a second and last date with an out-of-towner (who was also the second person I went on a date with in all of 2015 - because single, straight and interesting men are like invisible ninjas in KK). Anyway, one of the things we spoke about was bucket lists. 

You know, a list of things to do before we kick the bucket.

I told him that I did a 30 Before 30 list the year I turned 29, and managed to achieve 18 goals out of 30. To be honest, none of them were really that ambitious, because I know that a goal has to be realistic.

Earlier this year, I also wrote about some goals...none of which I have accomplished yet hahaha.

Anyway, here is my attempt at 40 Before 40 bucket list, which I aim to review every birthday month and also at year's end. I might tweak things along the way, so my current state of mind as I write this is "oh what the hell just write that shit down and figure it out later" hahahaha!

Work (5)

1. Get promoted.

2. Get seconded to a foreign country, hopefully in Europe.

3. Get sponsored by the organisation to do my PhD.

4. Get on a helicopter.

5. Cycle to work (not in Malaysia, of course..I don't want to end up as roadkill sheesh).

Skills (8)

1. Learn how to swim (and not drown in the process!).

2. Master Photoshop (I only know Gimpshop hahaha).

3. Learn how to edit videos.

4. Get my PhD.

5. Master a foreign language.

6. Get a diving licence.

7. Study/attend a course overseas.

8. Learn basic car maintenance and repairs...like how to change the engine oil.

Finance (4)

1. Pay off credit card debt (and stop using the card for shopping!)

2. Sell my house.

3. Pay off car loan.

4. Pay off study loan.

Travel (15)

1. Visit Singapore Zoo.

2. Travel to a foreign country alone.

3. Visit Bali.

4. Write travel pieces.

5. Visit Iceland.

6. Visit Italy.

7. Visit Sweden.

8. Visit the Netherlands.

9. Visit Sri Lanka again.

10. Visit the UK.

11. Experience winter.

12. Experience autumn.

13. Visit Labuan...just for the heck of it.

14. Travel to space (hahaha so ambitious but hey, why not?).

15. Visit Hawaii.

Nest (5)

1. Rent a little apartment.

2. Have a pet.

3. Get a house plant and try not to murder it.

4. Have a garden/collection of potted herbs.

5. Have at least one IKEA furniture (currently there are no IKEA stores in East Malaysia wtf and I sold off most of my IKEA stuff when I moved to this wretched place KK).

Miscellaneous goals (3)

1. Volunteer at SPCA.

2. Run 10 mins/km.

3. Get a gym membership and actually use it. 

Well that's it folks...40 stuff to do within the next eight years. Oh and yes I didn't bother putting marriage or children in the menu because I've been dating since I was 20 and 12 years later I am still single so trying to find a life partner is a useless and frustrating endeavour, really. 

Besides, I already have a niece and a nephew (my nephew actually is a spitting image of me), so those are (sort of) my kids too hahaha.

As for my date, he was an awesome guy, so I know he won't have any problems getting a date any time he wants to. Wish there are more men like him in KK, because KK is currently where single dateless women become crazy cat ladies you embrace being a single and independent woman ;)

Across Dreamlands

Let me make a confession: I cannot write a poem to save my life. Nope. I may be brilliant at many things (some of which can be quite useless), but penning poetry is not one of them.

However, I do have friends blessed with the power of poetry. One of them, Lara, just self-published a collection of poems titled "Across Dreamlands". I've gotten my copy since a few days ago but have decided to save it for my weekend reading.

I also sent a copy of "Across Dreamlands" (Lara, if you ever read this, can I just say that your book's title is sooooooooooooooo cool? Hehe) to another poet friend of mine, Ksatriya. I've been horrible at remembering his birthday for the past few years now (it's in October...or November?) so I thought this year I'd get a headstart and send it to him before MY birthday hahaha. 

Anyway, if you're interested in getting a copy of "Across Dreamlands, you can get in touch with the poet herself on Twitter.

Another poet I'd like to mention here is Sara Bareilles. I know, I know..you probably know her as a singer-songwriter, but plenty of her songs are pure poetry.

Case in point: Cassiopeia. Lyrics below:

Come in close now it's time to tell the story

Long ago, and so many years before we

Ever were, ever dreamed we even could be

There was her and her very first heartbeat

All alone in a corner of the night sky

Spiral bones of a supernova starlight

Fell in love with another burning bright

She dreamed of a way to ignite she said

Tonight

Come on, come on collide

Break me to pieces I

I think you're just like heaven

Why, come on, come on collide

Let's see what a fire feels like

I bet it's just like heaven

Just like heaven

Just like heaven

Such a shame nowhere near even a near miss

Light years away from the hope of being sun-kissed

Anchored home in her interstellar sea but

Poor lonely Cassiopeia

So she sighs and she burns with desperation

Learns to cry over love of constellations

Then a spark from a star shooting too close

They both smiled "What a day to explode"

She said

Tonight

Come on, come on collide

Break me to pieces I

I think you're just like heaven

Why, come on, come on collide

Let's see what a fire feels like

I bet it's just like heaven

Just like heaven

Just like heaven

Long ago in a sky built before us

A supernova grew up to be stardust 

I've been on a space-ish kind of mood since Pluto sent us some selfies, so I've been watching Interstellar and Gravity all over again. I've always wanted to go to space, and even wrote "astronaut" on my residential school application form as my ambition. However, Dad erased it and asked me to write something more realistic. If I remember correctly, he said "Malaysia will never send an astronaut, let alone a female one". Twenty years later, his words still ring true (and no, Dr S. is NOT an astronaut).

Maybe one day I'll get to travel across dreamlands, take a selfie with Pluto, and send it to my Dad. 

Now wouldn't that be something?

Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda

What could have been my life:

1. Married at 20 before I even graduated to my university boyfriend and pregnant in the next month (because teenagers are horny). Ending up as a single mother in less than a year because he cheated on me with someone on campus.

2. Married at 24 to an abusive guy who absolutely refused to hold a job for longer than his breath and ending up being a cash cow for his clan.

3. Married at 28 to my best friend who was also a self-confessed polyamorist and living with racist in-laws who think I'm not worthy of their precious son because I'm from a different race. Oh, and probably will be divorced in a year as well when I catch him in bed with other women.

I don't like to relive the past but Marquis de Melancholia arrived unannounced and definitely uninvited recently, perhaps triggered by the fact that I am feeling a tad exhausted, physically and mentally lately. Waiter, a pitcher of margarita, pronto!

The sadist Marquis came to life when I recently squeezed a trip home in between work trips so I could spend some time with the fam. The first question that Grandma dearest asked me when I walked into the house was, "Did you bring anyone with you?".

-_____________-"

If all I ever wanted to achieve in life was marriage, I would have done it more than ten years ago (ok now you know exactly how old I am hahaha dammit).

But it wouldn't be right for me, not just because the men I dated in that period had questionable qualities, but also because I had some growing up to do.  

Even when I'm considerably grown up now (both mentally and physically..if I was a country singer you can call me Girth Brooks for my stubborn love handles), I still couldn't get married to a human being AND a job at the same time. 

However, I would consider marriage for purely legal reasons. Like getting a green card to Amurrica.

Ok just kidding.

There's more to life than taking a man's last name as yours.