Try A Little Tinder-ness

I lived alone when I first came to Red Henna City in 2009. It was a lonely time for me. Almost all of my colleagues were based outside the city, and my only company during night time at the staff quarters were stray cats. 

Nice to play with, but not much contribution in terms of quality conversations.

I was weeks away from becoming a bonafide crazy cat lady when Mrs. Plain Jane, similarly single at that time, jokingly suggested that I join an online dating site. Through such sites, I have met plenty of men, just virtually if they live gazillion miles away, or outside for movie and dinner dates if they live nearby. Some of the good men became my friends until this very day. There were also not-so-nice men, but the worst of the lot were those with fake profiles and really bad grammar.

Four years of on-and-off dating profiles in various sites have passed, and in line with embracing technology, I have decided to try a popular dating app on my Samsung SII Mini:

Tinder

There are many articles on Tinder that you can find online:

• Buzzfeed has one on the how-tos of Tinderland. 
• Mashable has a simple guide on how to score dates.
• This one contains a glossary of useful Tinder terms.

This dummy-proof matchmaking app requires minimal use of your motor skills (swipe left if the profile is bleh, swipe right if you want to contact the hottie) and maximum superficiality. 

I've only been there a week but this video below probably best describes what the experience felt like:

The good thing about Tinder is that you will only get to contact your matches, so your chances of being bombarded by messages from people you have no yen for are super low. There are also so many ridiculously good-looking men on the app. 

The bad thing is, you might not get many matches (or any matches at all) if you or your photos are unflattering. 

I should mention that I am not pretty by conventional or advertising-industry standards. I am a plus-size woman, who wears glasses, a bright smile and a loud personality. I also have jiggly bits that are heading towards Australia as we speak. *curses gravity and fried dinners*

Despite all that, I did upload a few flattering photos of myself in my profile and they show me doing the things that I love: being goofy, having a drink with friends, and going on photography escapades. 

In case you're wondering how well (or how bad) I am doing on Tinder so far, here are my stats as of today:

Number of matches: 

FIVE

Number of matches who responded to my texts: 

TWO

Number of matches who blocked me after realising that they've swiped me to the right by mistake: 

ONE

Number of matches who responded and tentatively agreed to meet up for coffee, only to disappear from my list of matches one day before: 

ONE (DOUCHEBAG) 


Would I recommend the app to anyone? 

• Yes, if you're a tall and leggy chick looking forward to dates with uber-hot males.
• Yes, if you look like me but still want to drool over some sizzling eye-candy.
• No, if you're looking for meaningful connections with real people who know there is more than meets the eye. 

If you're keen to take the minefield app for a test drive, you can download it for free from your Apple App Store or Google Play. 

As for me, I think I prefer date nights with my celluloid boyfriend. 

Yum.

The Geek Goddess

P/S: All pics sourced from Google. Duh. 

Review: Beyond Beauty's 2-Hour Swedish Massage + Body Scrub + Steam Bath on Groupon Malaysia

This is not an advertorial

Last year, I had promised my lovely friend and fellow blogger Mrs Plain Jane that I would blog about my birthday gift redemption experience at Beyond Beauty. But before that, a little background story:

Mrs Plain Jane and I have been friends since we were 13. She and I used to study in the same school and college until we were 19. Then we both left to study at different universities in the same state across the pond called South China Sea. She now lives in our hometown while I still remain on this side of the sea but we keep in touch regularly via Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. 

Anyway, this ridiculously sweet woman had wanted to get me a birthday gift last year and decided a Groupon Malaysia deal was the best option since I could redeem it here electronically. One thing I like about Groupon Malaysia is that they have absolutely amazing customer service. I've been their customer for a few times and whenever I have difficulties or questions, their online customer service staff were always friendly and helpful.

So Mrs Plain Jane purchased a two-hour spa treat for me from Beyond Beauty which consisted of a Swedish massage, a steam bath and a body scrub. I think she's tired of my tweets about how my tired body needs a massage hahaha. Thanks sweetie!

One post-lunch afternoon, I made an appointment at their outlet in Boulevard, Mid Valley City, since it was within walking distance from my office. The Customer Service person was kind enough to call me on the morning of the appointment to remind me of my booking, which was scheduled around 6.30pm if I remember correctly. Reminder calls, in my opinion, benefit both parties: the customer will remember their appointment, and the outlet will not have wasted an empty appointment slot.

After registration, I was asked to take my shoes off and to place them on the shelf behind the reception (there is a wall separating the reception and the shelf). Then I was loaned a pair of indoor slippers and shown to a wall of lockers, where I could keep my belongings locked for safety. The lockers are on the smaller side so if you intend to come, bring the tiniest bag that you have. I am a fan of huge, oversized, Black-Hole-On-Straps kind of bags, so I had to cram my bag into the locker a few times to make it fit.

I was then led to a room, where the masseuse asked me to change into a disposable thong (I have never felt so naked in front of a woman before!), before lying down on the bed for the body scrub.

Disposable butt floss. Highly ticklish.

(photo sourced from here)

The masseuse was a woman of very VERY few words. She didn't explain what was the main ingredient in the scrub, nor the purpose of the scrub. Some customers do prefer minimal conversation during a pampering session, but for me, being the sponge that I am, I've always loved to soak even a little bit of info about whatever I am jumping into. Especially since it involved exposing my naked jiggly bits to a stranger.

After the scrub, it was time for the steam bath. The steam room was tiny and rectangular-shaped, and there was a built-in tiled bench for you to sit on. Being a claustrophobic person, I didn't particularly enjoy the session as the size of the room and the steam was suffocating, and the masseuse did not bother to tell me how long the session would take. There was no wall clock in the room so to pass the time, I kept myself entertained by counting drops of water flowing down the glass door.

Once I was rescued from the torture chamber steam bath, the masseuse gave me a towel and a disposable butt floss thong before directing me to a shower stall nearby. It was so refreshing to have cold water hitting my warm skin after being steamed like a dim sum in a very tiny steamer pot.

Then it was time for the pièce de résistance: the Swedish massage. I did some research (being the nerd that I am) prior to my appointment and discovered that a Swedish massage is just a classic massage that uses long strokes. But hey, Swedish massage sounds a whole lot fancier than just massage, no?

The masseuse used oil in the massage and the massage bed was also heated (electric blanket, I presume) to give me some comfort and keep me warm, especially since the room was cold at times due to the A/C. However, there was a point when the bed became too warm and the heat was stinging. Of course, the masseuse adjusted it once I requested her to do so.

Now I'm a fan of oily massages, although I feel ticklish and painful while my tired muscles are being kneaded. It's an intoxicating combination of pain and pleasure. I recommend going for a massage whenever you're stressed, as they can be quite relaxing, both for the mind and the body. I did feel quite relaxed after the Swedish massage at Beyond Beauty.

Always knew cats are quite kneady. Lol.
(photo sourced from here)

However, I didn't quite like the fact that the masseuse rushed to ask me to sign up for spa packages while I was enjoying my post-massage herbal tea (which was served cold, by the way). It was as if she only bothered to make a conversation with me just to close a deal, as she barely spoke to me during the body scrub and massage sessions.

I personally feel that I would have signed up for a package with them if the masseuse was friendlier and strived to create a warm connection with me from the get go. The outlet was convenient to drop by after a long day at work, after all, and the prices of the packages offered were quite sensible. Unfortunately I have thrown away the brochure that the outlet manager gave me before I left (and yes, she did ask me to sign up for a package, but  at least she was much more friendlier than the masseuse), so I couldn't quote here the prices that were offered to me.

When it comes to spa or body treatment centres, be it for your face, hair or even your body, the average Malaysian will always look for the best bargain. But of equal importance is getting a good experience at the outlet. If you have pushy staff who keep shoving their list of packages into the customers' faces, expect customer dissatisfaction and possibly zero return visits after that. Worse is when these customers turn to social media to share their unpleasant experience. (Yes, I'm guilty as charged lol)

In conclusion, this Beyond Beauty package is worth taking because the price is quite reasonable for a two-hour session and they have multiple outlets that are convenient to visit. My only suggestion for the Boulevard outlet is to improve their level of customer service. A lot of these places demand that their staff be knowledgeable about treatments and products, but customer engagement plays a big part in sealing the deal and a good relationship can lead to long-term business. Be friendlier, engage the customers if they ask questions about their packages (because this is a good selling moment), and sell the benefits of their packages instead of merely focusing on the affordable prices.  

Will I be coming again to Beyond Beauty? To be honest, I've had much better experience at other massage centres but I might be tempted to come again if their customer service improves.

I guess all I can say is:

NEVER SAY NEVER :)

P/S: Click here to view the (now-expired) Beyond Beauty deal on Groupon that Mrs Plain Jane bought for me.

The Geek Goddess