What a Hell of a Year! :)

Hello, 2015.

I was relieved to finally get 2014 over and done with. It has been a year of many shocks and surprises, with plenty of growth filtering in through the cracks after the pressure is gone.

The not-so-good:

1. For the first time in my life I did not have stable employment.
2. Obi, an abandoned dog that my friend Cyn adopted from our old office, died in February.
3.  Snoopy, the dog I adopted from a friend in 2008 died in early April. Cried for weeks. He was like a child to me. 
4. My grandmother had a terrible stroke in late April.
5. I injured my knee while lifting my grandmother in the hospital (guess I wasn't as strong as I thought I was hahaha).
6. Had to limp for almost a month. Also swore off stairs.
7. Had the worst job interview in human history with a Japanese company director (my friends had no sympathy; they found it comedy gold instead hahaha).
8. Had a tenant from hell who only paid outstanding rent and utilities after my lawyer sent a letter.
9. Had to shut down our company when my friend and partner decided to pursue another opportunity.
10. Had to leave my beloved apartment and PJ to move for a new job.
11. Was so homesick the first month I was in KK.
12. Missing Unifi, my friends and old haunts in PJ (hello, dearest darling IKEA! Oh how I've missed you!).

 The good:

1. Quit a draining job. I was losing sleep, weight and even hair!
2. Because I was "unemployed", I could come home to see my family for the first time in almost a year.
3. Became a freelance writer, a long-life dream finally realised.
4. Started a company with my best friend; it was good while it lasted.
5. Learned how to sew using the sewing machine.
6. Became a part-time tailor after learning how to sew.
7. Tailored my own four-panel floor-length heavy brocade curtains. Woot!
8. Sewed a green toga from scratch for a company dinner.
9. Got hired for the job of a lifetime: doing communications for a global non-profit.
10. Moved across the South China Sea for the new job with almost nothing in my pockets and without a home too. #crazy
11. Stayed at a backpackers' hostel for the first time while looking at houses in KK.
12. Started working out again after getting clearance from my doc for the stupid knee.
13. Trained self to like oatmeal for breakfast (it tastes better cooked than kept overnight in fridge).
14. Trained self to eat HUGE salads for lunch almost every day.
15. Hosted a junk-food-free Christmas for the family.

I was also single for most of the year but I can't say that it's a good or a bad thing hahaha. I did feel lonely sometimes but it's better to be single than be in a relationship that doesn't make you happy, no?

So what's next for 2015?

1. Fix my finances

My finances got derailed because I was unemployed for four months last year. I aim to pay off my credit card debt this year and sell off my house in Kuching. 

2. Run!

I want to clock at least 10 mins/km this year. Still contemplating running in the 10km run at Borneo International Marathon because I have a work trip that ends a day before the run. 

Before Christmas derailed me (excuses!) I was actually training three times a week. Now I want to do six, because I don't think I am pushing my body enough. 

3. Me, myself, and the Island of the Gods

An overdue solo trip! Looking forward to a week of culinary delights, sescapes, drinks at sundown, and also arts and crafts.

4. Get ready to go to school

I'd like to get my Master's degree (finally eh?) sometime in 2017 via a scholarship. 

Just four goals this year, which perhaps is a tad unambitious compared to the year I turned 30, when I had 30 goals (and actually achieved 18, I think).

I hope 2015 will be kinder to all of us :)

The Geek Goddess

I Still Need You

I took you in when you were barely a month old. It was October 2008. It was a new chapter for both of us: I had just moved in to a new house, and you found a new family: me.

You used to cry at night looking for your mum, waking up the entire neighbourhood. You ended up sleeping in a box next to my bed.

I used to bundle you up in a towel near me for warmth and we would watch TV together after dinner. 

Housebreaking you required me dragging us both out of bed at 6 in the morning for your breakfast and then for you to relieve yourself. Once you slipped into the neighbour's lawn while I was trying to stay awake, waiting for you to poop. Your escape attempt successfully kept me up. 

You also had a thing for rolled up clothes, so I got you a little ball to play with. You hated it though. Never even touched it.

In 2009, I had to leave you with Mummy and Daddy to go to work. It broke my heart. I thought of you every day, almost always with guilt. I felt as if I had abandoned you.

But you flourished despite my absence. From a cute puppy, you grew up to be a very huge and playful dog. Everyone at home loved you. How could they not? You were friendly and kind and loving to everyone you met.

Whenever I flew home, I knew you'd be waiting at the gate. I knew you'd pounce the minute the car door was open, and that getting from the car into the house required the obligatory waltz with you.

Whenever I called home, I'd always ask about the three of you, things like how is Bulan doing, where is Bonnie, and what on earth is Snoopy loudly barking at?

I'd give anything to hear you bark again.

Today, while at work, my heart broke again when Mummy told me you had left us. The vet couldn't save you last night, she said. 

Did you know Mummy couldn't focus on work after that phone call? My entire life I had never seen her cry but she did today, while showing everyone photos of you in her phone.

I tried hard not to cry at work, because I knew no one at work would understand. 

I was mad....no, I was furious at God for not listening to our prayers for you to heal. I know it was selfish, but I prayed for Him to please not take you away so soon, because we still need you.

I still need you.

Snoopy at a few months' old