I took you in when you were barely a month old. It was October 2008. It was a new chapter for both of us: I had just moved in to a new house, and you found a new family: me.
You used to cry at night looking for your mum, waking up the entire neighbourhood. You ended up sleeping in a box next to my bed.
I used to bundle you up in a towel near me for warmth and we would watch TV together after dinner.
Housebreaking you required me dragging us both out of bed at 6 in the morning for your breakfast and then for you to relieve yourself. Once you slipped into the neighbour's lawn while I was trying to stay awake, waiting for you to poop. Your escape attempt successfully kept me up.
You also had a thing for rolled up clothes, so I got you a little ball to play with. You hated it though. Never even touched it.
In 2009, I had to leave you with Mummy and Daddy to go to work. It broke my heart. I thought of you every day, almost always with guilt. I felt as if I had abandoned you.
But you flourished despite my absence. From a cute puppy, you grew up to be a very huge and playful dog. Everyone at home loved you. How could they not? You were friendly and kind and loving to everyone you met.
Whenever I flew home, I knew you'd be waiting at the gate. I knew you'd pounce the minute the car door was open, and that getting from the car into the house required the obligatory waltz with you.
Whenever I called home, I'd always ask about the three of you, things like how is Bulan doing, where is Bonnie, and what on earth is Snoopy loudly barking at?
I'd give anything to hear you bark again.
Today, while at work, my heart broke again when Mummy told me you had left us. The vet couldn't save you last night, she said.
Did you know Mummy couldn't focus on work after that phone call? My entire life I had never seen her cry but she did today, while showing everyone photos of you in her phone.
I tried hard not to cry at work, because I knew no one at work would understand.
I was mad....no, I was furious at God for not listening to our prayers for you to heal. I know it was selfish, but I prayed for Him to please not take you away so soon, because we still need you.
I still need you.
Snoopy at a few months' old
