Saturday, June 13, 2015

Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda

What could have been my life:

1. Married at 20 before I even graduated to my university boyfriend and pregnant in the next month (because teenagers are horny). Ending up as a single mother in less than a year because he cheated on me with someone on campus.

2. Married at 24 to an abusive guy who absolutely refused to hold a job for longer than his breath and ending up being a cash cow for his clan.

3. Married at 28 to my best friend who was also a self-confessed polyamorist and living with racist in-laws who think I'm not worthy of their precious son because I'm from a different race. Oh, and probably will be divorced in a year as well when I catch him in bed with other women.

I don't like to relive the past but Marquis de Melancholia arrived unannounced and definitely uninvited recently, perhaps triggered by the fact that I am feeling a tad exhausted, physically and mentally lately. Waiter, a pitcher of margarita, pronto!

The sadist Marquis came to life when I recently squeezed a trip home in between work trips so I could spend some time with the fam. The first question that Grandma dearest asked me when I walked into the house was, "Did you bring anyone with you?".

-_____________-"

If all I ever wanted to achieve in life was marriage, I would have done it more than ten years ago (ok now you know exactly how old I am hahaha dammit).

But it wouldn't be right for me, not just because the men I dated in that period had questionable qualities, but also because I had some growing up to do.  

Even when I'm considerably grown up now (both mentally and physically..if I was a country singer you can call me Girth Brooks for my stubborn love handles), I still couldn't get married to a human being AND a job at the same time. 

However, I would consider marriage for purely legal reasons. Like getting a green card to Amurrica.

Ok just kidding.

There's more to life than taking a man's last name as yours.

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