Revisiting 40 Before 40

It's been almost a year since I last posted here. The absence wasn't intentional; my personal DELLilah finally exhaled its last breath and I had to save up to get another one.

Only this time it's not a DELLilah but a HP, specifically HP Pavilion X360 Convertible.

Sounds fancy, I know. It's nowhere near that though.

But let me save my review of my new Athenator (lol yeah that's the name of the new device) for another day. Oh and I also recently got a Dell Latitude 3470 for work but I hate the keyboard, amongst other things. But that's also a story for another day.

Anyway, I enjoyed reading my 40 Before 40 post, not because it was well-written, but because I was surprised to find that in almost a year since I penned that post, I actually managed to achieve some of the things I wanted:

Work (5)

1. Get promoted. - nope

2. Get seconded to a foreign country, hopefully in Europe. - nope

3. Get sponsored by the organisation to do my PhD. - nope

4. Get on a helicopter. - nope

5. Cycle to work (not in Malaysia, of course..I don't want to end up as roadkill sheesh). - nope

Skills (8)

1. Learn how to swim (and not drown in the process!). - nope

2. Master Photoshop (I only know Gimpshop hahaha). - nope

3. Learn how to edit videos. - YES! I learned this in July this year during a course in Singapore.

4. Get my PhD. - nope

5. Master a foreign language. - nope

6. Get a diving licence. - nope

7. Study/attend a course overseas. - YES! Did this in July 2016 in Singapore.

8. Learn basic car maintenance and repairs...like how to change the engine oil. - nope

Finance (4)

1. Pay off credit card debt (and stop using the card for shopping!) - nope

2. Sell my house. - nope

3. Pay off car loan. - nope

4. Pay off study loan. - nope

Travel (15)

1. Visit Singapore Zoo. - YES! Did this in July 2016; a lovely coursemate works at the zoo and kindly gave me a staff discount voucher :)

2. Travel to a foreign country alone. - YES! Singapore, July 2016 :)

3. Visit Bali. - nope

4. Write travel pieces. - nope

5. Visit Iceland. - nope

6. Visit Italy. - nope

7. Visit Sweden. - nope

8. Visit the Netherlands. - nope

9. Visit Sri Lanka again. - nope

10. Visit the UK. - nope

11. Experience winter. - nope

12. Experience autumn. - nope

13. Visit Labuan...just for the heck of it. - YES! Did it with the fam in September 2016 :)

14. Travel to space (hahaha so ambitious but hey, why not?). - nope hahahaha

15. Visit Hawaii. - nope

Nest (5)

1. Rent a little apartment. - YES! Moved to an apartment on my birthday this year ;)

2. Have a pet. - YES! Rescued a stray male cat my sister christened "Ayau" and recently got him neutered during SPCA KK's cat neutering campaign.

3. Get a house plant and try not to murder it. - YES! Took a cutting from a plant at work lol. It actually only survives on water. No idea what it's called though. Must try to find out from my colleagues.

4. Have a garden/collection of potted herbs. - nope

5. Have at least one IKEA furniture (currently there are no IKEA stores in East Malaysia wtf and I sold off most of my IKEA stuff when I moved to this wretched place KK). - nope, sadly

Miscellaneous goals (3)

1. Volunteer at SPCA. - nope, but I have become a donor a few times

2. Run 10 mins/km. - nope hahahahaha

3. Get a gym membership and actually use it. - nopitty nope nope hahahaha 

So I've achieved 8 out of the 40 goals I listed in less than a year. So looking forward to what the next year holds. 

Bring it on, 2017! *curls biceps*

Revisiting 40 Before 40

It's been almost a year since I last posted here. The absence wasn't intentional; my personal DELLilah finally exhaled its last breath and I had to save up to get another one.

Only this time it's not a DELLilah but a HP, specifically HP Pavilion X360 Convertible.

Sounds fancy, I know. It's nowhere near that though.

But let me save my review of my new Athenator (lol yeah that's the name of the new device) for another day. Oh and I also recently got a Dell Latitude 3470 for work but I hate the keyboard, amongst other things. But that's also a story for another day.

Anyway, I enjoyed reading my 40 Before 40 post, not because it was well-written, but because I was surprised to find that in almost a year since I penned that post, I actually managed to achieve some of the things I wanted:

Work (5)

1. Get promoted. - nope

2. Get seconded to a foreign country, hopefully in Europe. - nope

3. Get sponsored by the organisation to do my PhD. - nope

4. Get on a helicopter. - nope

5. Cycle to work (not in Malaysia, of course..I don't want to end up as roadkill sheesh). - nope

Skills (8)

1. Learn how to swim (and not drown in the process!). - nope

2. Master Photoshop (I only know Gimpshop hahaha). - nope

3. Learn how to edit videos. - YES! I learned this in July this year during a course in Singapore.

4. Get my PhD. - nope

5. Master a foreign language. - nope

6. Get a diving licence. - nope

7. Study/attend a course overseas. - YES! Did this in July 2016 in Singapore.

8. Learn basic car maintenance and repairs...like how to change the engine oil. - nope

Finance (4)

1. Pay off credit card debt (and stop using the card for shopping!) - nope

2. Sell my house. - nope

3. Pay off car loan. - nope

4. Pay off study loan. - nope

Travel (15)

1. Visit Singapore Zoo. - YES! Did this in July 2016; a lovely coursemate works at the zoo and kindly gave me a staff discount voucher :)

2. Travel to a foreign country alone. - YES! Singapore, July 2016 :)

3. Visit Bali. - nope

4. Write travel pieces. - nope

5. Visit Iceland. - nope

6. Visit Italy. - nope

7. Visit Sweden. - nope

8. Visit the Netherlands. - nope

9. Visit Sri Lanka again. - nope

10. Visit the UK. - nope

11. Experience winter. - nope

12. Experience autumn. - nope

13. Visit Labuan...just for the heck of it. - YES! Did it with the fam in September 2016 :)

14. Travel to space (hahaha so ambitious but hey, why not?). - nope hahahaha

15. Visit Hawaii. - nope

Nest (5)

1. Rent a little apartment. - YES! Moved to an apartment on my birthday this year ;)

2. Have a pet. - YES! Rescued a stray male cat my sister christened "Ayau" and recently got him neutered during SPCA KK's cat neutering campaign.

3. Get a house plant and try not to murder it. - YES! Took a cutting from a plant at work lol. It actually only survives on water. No idea what it's called though. Must try to find out from my colleagues.

4. Have a garden/collection of potted herbs. - nope

5. Have at least one IKEA furniture (currently there are no IKEA stores in East Malaysia wtf and I sold off most of my IKEA stuff when I moved to this wretched place KK). - nope, sadly

Miscellaneous goals (3)

1. Volunteer at SPCA. - nope, but I have become a donor a few times

2. Run 10 mins/km. - nope hahahahaha

3. Get a gym membership and actually use it. - nopitty nope nope hahahaha 

So I've achieved 8 out of the 40 goals I listed in less than a year. So looking forward to what the next year holds. 

Bring it on, 2017! *curls biceps*

40 Before 40

Wow..it's almost December, eh? Time really flies.

Last night I went on a second and last date with an out-of-towner (who was also the second person I went on a date with in all of 2015 - because single, straight and interesting men are like invisible ninjas in KK). Anyway, one of the things we spoke about was bucket lists. 

You know, a list of things to do before we kick the bucket.

I told him that I did a 30 Before 30 list the year I turned 29, and managed to achieve 18 goals out of 30. To be honest, none of them were really that ambitious, because I know that a goal has to be realistic.

Earlier this year, I also wrote about some goals...none of which I have accomplished yet hahaha.

Anyway, here is my attempt at 40 Before 40 bucket list, which I aim to review every birthday month and also at year's end. I might tweak things along the way, so my current state of mind as I write this is "oh what the hell just write that shit down and figure it out later" hahahaha!

Work (5)

1. Get promoted.

2. Get seconded to a foreign country, hopefully in Europe.

3. Get sponsored by the organisation to do my PhD.

4. Get on a helicopter.

5. Cycle to work (not in Malaysia, of course..I don't want to end up as roadkill sheesh).

Skills (8)

1. Learn how to swim (and not drown in the process!).

2. Master Photoshop (I only know Gimpshop hahaha).

3. Learn how to edit videos.

4. Get my PhD.

5. Master a foreign language.

6. Get a diving licence.

7. Study/attend a course overseas.

8. Learn basic car maintenance and repairs...like how to change the engine oil.

Finance (4)

1. Pay off credit card debt (and stop using the card for shopping!)

2. Sell my house.

3. Pay off car loan.

4. Pay off study loan.

Travel (15)

1. Visit Singapore Zoo.

2. Travel to a foreign country alone.

3. Visit Bali.

4. Write travel pieces.

5. Visit Iceland.

6. Visit Italy.

7. Visit Sweden.

8. Visit the Netherlands.

9. Visit Sri Lanka again.

10. Visit the UK.

11. Experience winter.

12. Experience autumn.

13. Visit Labuan...just for the heck of it.

14. Travel to space (hahaha so ambitious but hey, why not?).

15. Visit Hawaii.

Nest (5)

1. Rent a little apartment.

2. Have a pet.

3. Get a house plant and try not to murder it.

4. Have a garden/collection of potted herbs.

5. Have at least one IKEA furniture (currently there are no IKEA stores in East Malaysia wtf and I sold off most of my IKEA stuff when I moved to this wretched place KK).

Miscellaneous goals (3)

1. Volunteer at SPCA.

2. Run 10 mins/km.

3. Get a gym membership and actually use it. 

Well that's it folks...40 stuff to do within the next eight years. Oh and yes I didn't bother putting marriage or children in the menu because I've been dating since I was 20 and 12 years later I am still single so trying to find a life partner is a useless and frustrating endeavour, really. 

Besides, I already have a niece and a nephew (my nephew actually is a spitting image of me), so those are (sort of) my kids too hahaha.

As for my date, he was an awesome guy, so I know he won't have any problems getting a date any time he wants to. Wish there are more men like him in KK, because KK is currently where single dateless women become crazy cat ladies you embrace being a single and independent woman ;)

What a Hell of a Year! :)

Hello, 2015.

I was relieved to finally get 2014 over and done with. It has been a year of many shocks and surprises, with plenty of growth filtering in through the cracks after the pressure is gone.

The not-so-good:

1. For the first time in my life I did not have stable employment.
2. Obi, an abandoned dog that my friend Cyn adopted from our old office, died in February.
3.  Snoopy, the dog I adopted from a friend in 2008 died in early April. Cried for weeks. He was like a child to me. 
4. My grandmother had a terrible stroke in late April.
5. I injured my knee while lifting my grandmother in the hospital (guess I wasn't as strong as I thought I was hahaha).
6. Had to limp for almost a month. Also swore off stairs.
7. Had the worst job interview in human history with a Japanese company director (my friends had no sympathy; they found it comedy gold instead hahaha).
8. Had a tenant from hell who only paid outstanding rent and utilities after my lawyer sent a letter.
9. Had to shut down our company when my friend and partner decided to pursue another opportunity.
10. Had to leave my beloved apartment and PJ to move for a new job.
11. Was so homesick the first month I was in KK.
12. Missing Unifi, my friends and old haunts in PJ (hello, dearest darling IKEA! Oh how I've missed you!).

 The good:

1. Quit a draining job. I was losing sleep, weight and even hair!
2. Because I was "unemployed", I could come home to see my family for the first time in almost a year.
3. Became a freelance writer, a long-life dream finally realised.
4. Started a company with my best friend; it was good while it lasted.
5. Learned how to sew using the sewing machine.
6. Became a part-time tailor after learning how to sew.
7. Tailored my own four-panel floor-length heavy brocade curtains. Woot!
8. Sewed a green toga from scratch for a company dinner.
9. Got hired for the job of a lifetime: doing communications for a global non-profit.
10. Moved across the South China Sea for the new job with almost nothing in my pockets and without a home too. #crazy
11. Stayed at a backpackers' hostel for the first time while looking at houses in KK.
12. Started working out again after getting clearance from my doc for the stupid knee.
13. Trained self to like oatmeal for breakfast (it tastes better cooked than kept overnight in fridge).
14. Trained self to eat HUGE salads for lunch almost every day.
15. Hosted a junk-food-free Christmas for the family.

I was also single for most of the year but I can't say that it's a good or a bad thing hahaha. I did feel lonely sometimes but it's better to be single than be in a relationship that doesn't make you happy, no?

So what's next for 2015?

1. Fix my finances

My finances got derailed because I was unemployed for four months last year. I aim to pay off my credit card debt this year and sell off my house in Kuching. 

2. Run!

I want to clock at least 10 mins/km this year. Still contemplating running in the 10km run at Borneo International Marathon because I have a work trip that ends a day before the run. 

Before Christmas derailed me (excuses!) I was actually training three times a week. Now I want to do six, because I don't think I am pushing my body enough. 

3. Me, myself, and the Island of the Gods

An overdue solo trip! Looking forward to a week of culinary delights, sescapes, drinks at sundown, and also arts and crafts.

4. Get ready to go to school

I'd like to get my Master's degree (finally eh?) sometime in 2017 via a scholarship. 

Just four goals this year, which perhaps is a tad unambitious compared to the year I turned 30, when I had 30 goals (and actually achieved 18, I think).

I hope 2015 will be kinder to all of us :)

The Geek Goddess

I Choose Me

When I first started this blog, I was unsure about the tone of voice that I should write with. Should I be politically correct because this blog can be viewed by the public? Or should I write from the heart because this is, after all, MY blog?

It's a valid point that's ripe for an argument because how I behave online after office hours might reflect on who I am professionally. I know that there are companies that screen their candidates online. I do the same to most of my dates (which probably explains why I'm single, but that's a topic for another post).

If you have been reading this blog since the very beginning, you probably would notice how my earlier posts sounded a bit stilted and forced festive (to quote Stanford Blatch in the Sex and the City movie). I guess I was a bit heavy-handed with the Instgram treatment, mentally applying filters as I write because I wanted to please everyone who might be reading my blog.

It's a losing battle, trying to please your (imaginary) audience. Or anyone for the matter. So I decided to stop trying to be a people pleaser online. I decided to choose me :)

Of course there are topics that are off-limits, such as work. I also don't discuss yucky TMI stuff, as I think the Daily Mail and other salacious tabloids can do a better job at whetting your appetite if you're into that sort of thing. 

I've gradually been writing with a more open voice, and tonight I'd like to share some personal and embarrassing details. You might know them as dreams, goals, or affirmations. Whatever rocks your boat, baby.

Anyway, here goes:

As much as I love having a career (and I've been blessed to do so many things in such a short period), I do want to settle down one day. A husband, a home, maybe one or two kids, a white picket fence, and a job that allows me to work from home.

Here's the thing though. I've seen friends go through divorce, and that honestly scares the shit out of me. As for kids, I get agitated when I'm trapped in a confined space (like a late-night movie or a red eye flight) with a screaming, spoiled child. My friend Sue recently had a full moon party for her two-month old baby and I was terrified when she asked me to hold him, even when it was only for a few seconds so she could snap a photo of us together. Her son was very calm but I was so scared that I might accidentally drop him.

I am also not dating anyone at the moment. There was someone special for the last two months, but like many others before him, it turned out that he just wanted to be friends.

Friends. That..that word is the bane of every single girl's existence, especially if it comes out of a man they're crazy about. Short of strapping the poor man to a chair and holding a gun to his head to force a fake declaration of affection, there really wasn't anything that I could do to change his mind. 

I honestly couldn't breathe when he dropped the bomb. But as difficult as it is (I'm not made of cold marble, I do have feelings), I think the best thing to do is to quit him cold turkey until I can calmly communicate with him without silently fighting the urge to weep. This could take a thousand years so don't hold your breath.

Okay enough about the faux break-up. Let's move on.

When it comes to having a permanent home, you're looking at someone who moved six times in the past five years. I also spent nine years, from age 13 to 22, away from my family. First it was the five-year boarding school, then college for a year, followed by three years of uni. Home became a postal address I only use whenever I'm required to have snail mail sent to me.

These days whenever someone says the word home to me, my mind conjures an image of my rented apartment in PJ that I really loved. After renting a room for years, I finally decided to live alone and be the lady of my manor in the sky. The apartment was poorly maintained (my block usually had only one elevator working) and located in a ghetto with drug dealers and prostitutes walking freely, but it was the only apartment that I could afford in PJ. I hated the neighbourhood but I somehow managed to mentally block whatever's outside as soon as I step into my unit. My balcony overlooked the hill and on some days I didn't even have to turn on the fan because it was really breezy living on the 21st floor. 

I no longer have a home when I left for Sabah. It was one of the things that hit me the hardest: feeling displaced and away from everything that was familiar. I'm feeling better now, but I do miss home from time to time.

Here in Sabah I work literally just metres away from the coastline, which is one of my lifelong dreams (but in my head it was the Penang coastline instead of Sabah's, to be honest). I am renting a master room in a quiet neighbourhood just 5 kilometres away from my office. There are friends here who steal me for lunch, dinner and beach walks. I also discovered lovely eateries here that cater to a wide spectrum of cravings, from the world's best pumpkin soup in Sailor's Cafe to affordable range of Western dishes at Upperstar.

So what now?

I'm slowly going back into running, starting with brisk walks. I recently went to the Queen Elizabeth Hospital for a way over-due knee check-up. The doctor ruled out running for now, and recommended swimming and brisk walking. He actually laughed when Cher and I said we wanted to try Muay Thai, which was the main reason why I needed that check-up, as Muay Thai is pretty hard on your knees.

Last weekend I joined a 5 kilometre Fit Malaysia run. The run was poorly organised (think huge crowd and two bicycle lanes as our running track) but I managed to clock 12 minutes as my average lap time despite walking most of the time. My best lap time ever since I took up running was 10 minutes, which is not that fast because most fit runners can probably finish 5 kilometres in half an hour. But I'm happy with going back to 10 for now. 

I've also recently discovered yoga, from where else but YouTube. It's a great stress reliever because the poses stretch my tired limbs and also helps me to focus on my breathing. Let's hope I can keep it up as the poses might get more difficult as I progress.

It's 11 pm right now, which feels similar to 1 am in PJ. The sun is up around 6 am and full-force daylight greets you with a vengeance before 6.30 am. By 7 pm I would be dreaming of my bed because I have to wake up at daylight in order to catch the 7 am bus to work.

Will I ever settle down, get married, have kids and nest in a home with a white picket fence? Honestly, I don't know. The dating pool shrinks as years go by while strands of white hair keep announcing their presence to all and sundry. Marriage seems to be an epidemic amongst my peers but somehow it manages to skip me.

All I know is this: whatever happens, I choose to be happy :)

I choose me.

Good night!

The Geek Goddess

Tête-à-tête

It's the last day of 2013.

For the past two years or so, I haven't been alive.

No, this is not a blog post written from "the other side". I am still pulsing and breathing, thank you very much.

What I meant was that I haven't been alive in the truest sense of the word.

Have you ever wondered if there is more to life than what you currently have on your plate?

I do. All.the.time.

For the past two years or so, I have let work and Toastmasters consume a huge chunk of this pie I call my life. Those years were not completely wasted, mind you. I am now finally a writer, after years of many false starts and dipping my feet in different buckets. I have also found an outlet that allows me to improve my communication skills and connect with like-minded people.

It is always good to fill your days with meaningful labour and contributions. However, in my haste to keep up with work and speech deadlines, a lot of things have unfortunately been unceremoniously sacrificed.

And so I have started this blog, to document the misadventures I am about to set upon, in my effort to live life to the fullest. 

In order to do so, it is always good to have a list. I personally am partial to lists because they give me a sense of purpose and direction. Whether I complete them or not is entirely another matter, of course. Haha!

After a long discussion with Mickey, a geek friend of mine, and many weeks of contemplating *cough*PROCRASTINATING*cough*, I have decided to set my heart on two things to achieve by the end of 2014:


1. Learn how to write HTML.

I used to work in digital marketing communications, so I can read and modify HTML a bit. A little wittle bitty bit only. But if you ask me to code from scratch, you'd be covered in cobwebs long before I even start.

I recognise that while I do have the appetite and maybe a little bit of aptitude for coding, my dedication to mastering this craft has been embarrassingly scant.

Very embarrassingly scant.

2. Learn how to use Photoshop.

I used to make amateur announcement posters as a freelance Facebook Page Manager.

Guess which programmes did I use to make them?

a. Word
b. Picture Manager
c. Snipping Tool
d. All of the above

I seriously wasn't kidding when I used the word "amateur". My current blog header is created using a combination of all three programmes. Haha!

Told you I wasn't kidding. Lol.

So that's the list of goals from the world's most underachieving blogger, folks. I promise this won't be the first AND the last post you'll see from me.

The Geek Goddess