I Choose Me

When I first started this blog, I was unsure about the tone of voice that I should write with. Should I be politically correct because this blog can be viewed by the public? Or should I write from the heart because this is, after all, MY blog?

It's a valid point that's ripe for an argument because how I behave online after office hours might reflect on who I am professionally. I know that there are companies that screen their candidates online. I do the same to most of my dates (which probably explains why I'm single, but that's a topic for another post).

If you have been reading this blog since the very beginning, you probably would notice how my earlier posts sounded a bit stilted and forced festive (to quote Stanford Blatch in the Sex and the City movie). I guess I was a bit heavy-handed with the Instgram treatment, mentally applying filters as I write because I wanted to please everyone who might be reading my blog.

It's a losing battle, trying to please your (imaginary) audience. Or anyone for the matter. So I decided to stop trying to be a people pleaser online. I decided to choose me :)

Of course there are topics that are off-limits, such as work. I also don't discuss yucky TMI stuff, as I think the Daily Mail and other salacious tabloids can do a better job at whetting your appetite if you're into that sort of thing. 

I've gradually been writing with a more open voice, and tonight I'd like to share some personal and embarrassing details. You might know them as dreams, goals, or affirmations. Whatever rocks your boat, baby.

Anyway, here goes:

As much as I love having a career (and I've been blessed to do so many things in such a short period), I do want to settle down one day. A husband, a home, maybe one or two kids, a white picket fence, and a job that allows me to work from home.

Here's the thing though. I've seen friends go through divorce, and that honestly scares the shit out of me. As for kids, I get agitated when I'm trapped in a confined space (like a late-night movie or a red eye flight) with a screaming, spoiled child. My friend Sue recently had a full moon party for her two-month old baby and I was terrified when she asked me to hold him, even when it was only for a few seconds so she could snap a photo of us together. Her son was very calm but I was so scared that I might accidentally drop him.

I am also not dating anyone at the moment. There was someone special for the last two months, but like many others before him, it turned out that he just wanted to be friends.

Friends. That..that word is the bane of every single girl's existence, especially if it comes out of a man they're crazy about. Short of strapping the poor man to a chair and holding a gun to his head to force a fake declaration of affection, there really wasn't anything that I could do to change his mind. 

I honestly couldn't breathe when he dropped the bomb. But as difficult as it is (I'm not made of cold marble, I do have feelings), I think the best thing to do is to quit him cold turkey until I can calmly communicate with him without silently fighting the urge to weep. This could take a thousand years so don't hold your breath.

Okay enough about the faux break-up. Let's move on.

When it comes to having a permanent home, you're looking at someone who moved six times in the past five years. I also spent nine years, from age 13 to 22, away from my family. First it was the five-year boarding school, then college for a year, followed by three years of uni. Home became a postal address I only use whenever I'm required to have snail mail sent to me.

These days whenever someone says the word home to me, my mind conjures an image of my rented apartment in PJ that I really loved. After renting a room for years, I finally decided to live alone and be the lady of my manor in the sky. The apartment was poorly maintained (my block usually had only one elevator working) and located in a ghetto with drug dealers and prostitutes walking freely, but it was the only apartment that I could afford in PJ. I hated the neighbourhood but I somehow managed to mentally block whatever's outside as soon as I step into my unit. My balcony overlooked the hill and on some days I didn't even have to turn on the fan because it was really breezy living on the 21st floor. 

I no longer have a home when I left for Sabah. It was one of the things that hit me the hardest: feeling displaced and away from everything that was familiar. I'm feeling better now, but I do miss home from time to time.

Here in Sabah I work literally just metres away from the coastline, which is one of my lifelong dreams (but in my head it was the Penang coastline instead of Sabah's, to be honest). I am renting a master room in a quiet neighbourhood just 5 kilometres away from my office. There are friends here who steal me for lunch, dinner and beach walks. I also discovered lovely eateries here that cater to a wide spectrum of cravings, from the world's best pumpkin soup in Sailor's Cafe to affordable range of Western dishes at Upperstar.

So what now?

I'm slowly going back into running, starting with brisk walks. I recently went to the Queen Elizabeth Hospital for a way over-due knee check-up. The doctor ruled out running for now, and recommended swimming and brisk walking. He actually laughed when Cher and I said we wanted to try Muay Thai, which was the main reason why I needed that check-up, as Muay Thai is pretty hard on your knees.

Last weekend I joined a 5 kilometre Fit Malaysia run. The run was poorly organised (think huge crowd and two bicycle lanes as our running track) but I managed to clock 12 minutes as my average lap time despite walking most of the time. My best lap time ever since I took up running was 10 minutes, which is not that fast because most fit runners can probably finish 5 kilometres in half an hour. But I'm happy with going back to 10 for now. 

I've also recently discovered yoga, from where else but YouTube. It's a great stress reliever because the poses stretch my tired limbs and also helps me to focus on my breathing. Let's hope I can keep it up as the poses might get more difficult as I progress.

It's 11 pm right now, which feels similar to 1 am in PJ. The sun is up around 6 am and full-force daylight greets you with a vengeance before 6.30 am. By 7 pm I would be dreaming of my bed because I have to wake up at daylight in order to catch the 7 am bus to work.

Will I ever settle down, get married, have kids and nest in a home with a white picket fence? Honestly, I don't know. The dating pool shrinks as years go by while strands of white hair keep announcing their presence to all and sundry. Marriage seems to be an epidemic amongst my peers but somehow it manages to skip me.

All I know is this: whatever happens, I choose to be happy :)

I choose me.

Good night!

The Geek Goddess

Snippets of Sabah So Far

It's my twelfth day here in Sabah. I flew to Kota Kinabalu on my birthday last month (because the cheapest Air Asia ticket was on that day hahaha), so I had about a week to hunt for a place to stay before I started work on 2nd September.

I promised to write about Sabah so tada! But no pictures because le Internet is le horrible.

Anyway here goes:

Pre-departure

Some of my friends thought I was nuts to pack up and leave without getting long-term accommodation. There were also others who thought I was brave to uproot myself and start fresh in an unfamiliar territory. The general consensus: they all thought I was crazy. With friends like these.... T_T

I've always been the "Why not?" kind of person when it comes to amazing opportunities, which has usually worked out pretty well in the past, and so I found myself saying yes to being based in Kota Kinabalu for a dream career in a non-profit organisation.

As for accommodation, I also had been searching for apartments even before I bought my flight ticket, but the search was frustrating due to a few factors:

1. I didn't know Sabah's real estate scene at all.

My budget and expectations were unrealistic as I expected Kota Kinabalu and the surrounding suburbs to mirror the real estate rates of Kuching. Turns out even dodgy-looking unfurnished studio/one-room apartments in a flood-prone area (flash floods are a huge problem here) require almost RM3000 upfront. If you include the cost of purchasing the bare minimum furnishings, that could push the costs even much higher. I wanted to really know a place before I was ready to part with an arm and a leg. 

2. I didn't know Sabah at all, including transportation and traffic conditions. 

According to my friends, places that are located within the 5km radius from my office can have varying travel time due to road works etc. Factor in flash floods after heavy rain and you'll take forever to get moving.

3. I still needed to be there in person.

My lovely Sabahan friends offered to help me view the apartments but ultimately it would be up to me to decide how I feel about the unit, the location and other factors. So I might as well be there myself.

I didn't have a family or a permanent place to stay in PJ/KL, so I had to pack up everything and move out within three weeks after getting the job offer. I sold my furniture to friends and neighbours, packed up most of my belongings in my car for storage at a friend's house, while the rest I mailed ahead of me, and took with me on the flight.

There were many farewell and birthday get togethers with friends when they found out that I was leaving. Some of them I had to turn down because I was really running out of time to do everything. I hope to make it up to them the next time I come to PJ/KL.

The night before I left, I managed to squeeze in a farewell dinner with some ex-colleagues and a last minute furniture sale to a neighbour, so it was a given that the day of my departure was utter madness. :

3am - finished packing

4.30am - finished loading stuff into the car and drove a heavily-laden car SLOWLY

5am - reached a friend's house and showered there

6.45am - reached another friend's to drop the car and went to the airport in hers

10.20am - up up and away

I didn't sleep at all the night before, so I dozed off a few times in my friend's car. Sleeping in the flight proved to be futile because there was an enfant terrible sitting in the row in front of me, who was spoiled rotten by her stupid parents and grandparents. She kept screaming for attention (I want my toy! I want a hug! I want to sit here! I want to sit there! I want this! I want that!) and in my head I was throwing that mollycoddled child off the plane over and over again.

If we insist on giving people tests before they drive on the road, why can't we insist on tests before people reproduce and inflict their spoiled offspring onto the unsuspecting public? Not everyone is fit for parenthood and misbehaving kids in public are usually a sign of lazy/bad parenting.  

Temporary accommodation

A few days before my flight, I booked a single room at a backpackers' hostel called PODs. It's my first time staying at a backpacker's hostel and a lot of my friends marvelled at this fact hahaha. They're located in Api-Api Centre, and the staff were super friendly. I got to know the lovely owner named Maria, who made a hilarious effort to introduce me to some of her staff as "someone who works in WTF". The rest of us in the lounge almost died laughing hahaha.

My spacious room at PODs cost RM38/night and came with a mattress and the bedding, an IKEA wardrobe (I'm a recovering IKEA addict haha I have an IKEA radar in my head), free WiFi and simple self-service breakfast in the lounge. There are four communal showers (two showers with water heater) and my room comes with centralised air-conditioning AND also a ceiling fan.

There are plenty of cabs waiting outside of PODs and the Wawasan bus terminal which supplies buses to the outskirts of Kota Kinabalu is just a 5-min walk away. Across the road is also a hugely popular mall called Centrepoint.

I usually have trouble sleeping in a new place but I was so tired that I slept soundly on my first night at PODs. In my opinion, if you're travelling alone or as a couple and you just need a clean, convenient, and safe place to stay, PODs is the best hostel to stay in Kota Kinabalu. 

Long-term accommodation

Based on my experience, it's best to call the advertiser the same day the rental ad goes up because good places get snapped up really fast. I mainly went online to search for apartments such as on Mudah.my, iProperty and Propwall.

My initial plan was to get an unfurnished studio/one-room apartment where it's easy to get a bus. My budget was RM600-RM700/month, with my max figure capped at RM800/month (this was my rent for a 3-bedroom unfurnished apartment in the dodgy end of Damansara Perdana). 

To my horror, I discovered that unfurnished studio/one-room apartments here can go really high, as minimum as RM900/month! So I had to get my head out of the clouds, come down to earth and rent a furnished master room instead. I found it in a house located in Kepayan Ridge, where the bus terminal, cab stand, and so many shops are within walking distance. There's even a mall within 15 minutes of walking from the house.  

Driving around

I also rented a car for the first three days of my stay. It was immensely helpful in my real estate search because I ended up checking out places like Likas, Penampang, Kepayan, Putatan and Sepanggar. The rates differ according to car model, including whether it's an automatic or manual transmission. 

For the first two days I rented an automatic Perodua Kenari for RM80/day. I wanted either a Perodua Viva or a Kenari because their back seats can fully recline and would be helpful in transporting stuff.

On my third day I couldn't extend the Kenari rental because it was already booked by the next customer, so the guy rented out an old manual Perodua Kancil to me at only RM50/day. I ended up parking it most of the day because it was such torture driving it:

1. The air-conditioning was temperamental. So sometimes I had to roll down the windows because it wasn't working.

2. The windows were sometimes jammed.

3. The speedometer didn't work haha if I ever got pulled over for speeding that would be my excuse! 

4. After parking,  I sometimes had to turn on the ignition a few times before the car roared back to life.

5. The steering wheel wasn't a power steering one. Nice workout for your arms (not!)

I had never driven in Kota Kinabalu or its surrounding areas before, so I relied a lot on Waze, Google Maps, and a paper map. I also called friends when I wasn't sure of a place. For the most part it was easy driving here because most drivers drive at a leisurely pace, are quite patient and polite too. It rained every afternoon that I was driving but I didn't see any road accidents nor heard anyone honking when traffic wasn't moving. 

Getting around by cab

The airport cab from Terminal 2 (which is the low-cost carrier terminal) to Centrepoint costs RM30. As for getting cabs to go around the Kota Kinabalu city or its suburbs...PLEASE DON'T GET INTO ONE.

I discovered one day that cabs here are daylight robbers-on-wheels. I was late for work and had missed the 7am bus (I say 7am but it actually leaves whenever the bus is full wtf), so I took a cab from Kepayan Ridge to Centrepoint. It was about 5km and we were stationary for maybe 3 minutes in the entire journey. The cab driver quoted me RM13 without the meter but I insisted on turning the meter on so that I have something to compare to. The final fare? 

RM15!

Getting around by bus

Buses are plenty here and you can find those going to the suburbs on the outskirts of Kota Kinabalu in front of Marina Court (the Wawasan Terminal nearby is currently renovated). Long-distance buses are located at other terminals.

From Kepayan Ridge I take the 14, 14A and 14B orange-white bus to Marina Court (which is 5 mins' walk from my office) and the fare is RM1.30 (about ten times cheaper than a cab fare). Based on my observation (read: long wait at the Kepayan Ridge bus terminal), one bus leaves approximately every hour.

The buses here will only depart once it is full or almost full, and most of them are old and have no air-conditioning. You pay the fare to the driver when you get off. The good thing about buses here is that the drivers are generally careful and do not drive fast like the mad bus drivers in KL do (those in KL probably have nine lives, who knows). Also, unlike in KL and PJ where no one gets off the bus even if they're blocking your exit, people here will get off to give you way before boarding the bus again.

Healthcare

Private generic clinics can cost an arm and a leg here, even if you only have a normal fever. The cheapest quote I got from a colleague was minimum RM60 per visit. As for dentists, a visit will set you back at least RM150.

There's a multi-department centre called Urban Transformation Centre in Sembulan where Malaysians pay as little as RM2 to see a medical assistant (supposedly there are no GPs at the clinic) or even a dentist at its 1Malaysia clinic. You can also renew your driver's license at the post office, renew your passport at the immigration department, or even pay your Streamyx bills at the TMPoint branch here. Parking is free and it's easy to get buses here too. Very convenient.

Mobile coverage 

I'm not sure about other telcos but DiGi's coverage in Kota Kinabalu and its surrounding areas is HORRENDOUS. I was lost on my way back from 1Borneo and almost drove to Menggatal because Waze couldn't get a signal BECAUSE DiGi HAD NO SIGNAL DURING THE RAIN.

DiGi consistently fails to provide service the moment the skies pour down here. Every time it rains, without fail, I will not have a signal on my phone. Even on a sunny day, I sometimes can't load a webpage on my laptop that is tethered to my phone. 

The moment my contract with DiGi ends in July 2015, I will be switching to another telco unless DiGi's coverage improves.

Internet connection

If you're used to high-speed Unifi and you suddenly have to move to Sabah, please try to wean yourself off this luxury. Mourn if you must, because if you're like me (I need to be plugged in every day), you'll be so bloody frustrated when you get here.

There are areas covered by Unifi in Sabah but they're very few and far in between. My housing area is not covered by Unifi yet so I had to switch to Streamyx (which is slightly better than good old dial-up connection of yesteryears wtf) or risk being fined RM500 because I still have a contract with Unifi till next year.

I've surrendered my Unifi paraphernalia to TMPoint and while I wait for the good folks at Streamyx to come over, I have to rely on my wretched DiGi connection to surf the net.

Language

Try to speak Malay anywhere you go in Sabah, as Sabahan Malay is widely spoken here. It is almost similar to the official Malay language, but has a different twang and plenty of unique words in it. There are many Sabahans I've met on the streets who can speak English decently, so I suspect switching back to speaking mainly in Sabahan Malay is either a force of habit or they're not confident enough to speak fully in English.

I used to speak Sabahan Malay fluently when I was in uni because I had a lot of Sabahan friends, but I've gone rusty from not practising it over the years. For the first few days here, I spoke mainly in English and that got me really a lot of stares hahaha. I felt like a coconut whenever that happened (read: dark-skinned on the outside but ang moh on the inside ahaha)

I'm doing better now though. Speaking a language is like riding a bicycle; you'll get back into the groove once you practise it again.

The end

So that's it for now. I'm super tired from walking around the past two days in an effort to get back to running. Did a lot of stairs today and my recovering knee, which I injured in May this year (while lifting my grandma haha), surprisingly took it well. 

Likas Bay and Perdana Park in Tanjung Aru are two lovely places for jogs because you get to see the sea as you huff and puff in the cold salty breeze. I'm looking forward to my first 5K run after three years on the side lines, which will happen in two weeks' time in Likas Bay.

Good night!

The Geek Goddess