I Choose Me

When I first started this blog, I was unsure about the tone of voice that I should write with. Should I be politically correct because this blog can be viewed by the public? Or should I write from the heart because this is, after all, MY blog?

It's a valid point that's ripe for an argument because how I behave online after office hours might reflect on who I am professionally. I know that there are companies that screen their candidates online. I do the same to most of my dates (which probably explains why I'm single, but that's a topic for another post).

If you have been reading this blog since the very beginning, you probably would notice how my earlier posts sounded a bit stilted and forced festive (to quote Stanford Blatch in the Sex and the City movie). I guess I was a bit heavy-handed with the Instgram treatment, mentally applying filters as I write because I wanted to please everyone who might be reading my blog.

It's a losing battle, trying to please your (imaginary) audience. Or anyone for the matter. So I decided to stop trying to be a people pleaser online. I decided to choose me :)

Of course there are topics that are off-limits, such as work. I also don't discuss yucky TMI stuff, as I think the Daily Mail and other salacious tabloids can do a better job at whetting your appetite if you're into that sort of thing. 

I've gradually been writing with a more open voice, and tonight I'd like to share some personal and embarrassing details. You might know them as dreams, goals, or affirmations. Whatever rocks your boat, baby.

Anyway, here goes:

As much as I love having a career (and I've been blessed to do so many things in such a short period), I do want to settle down one day. A husband, a home, maybe one or two kids, a white picket fence, and a job that allows me to work from home.

Here's the thing though. I've seen friends go through divorce, and that honestly scares the shit out of me. As for kids, I get agitated when I'm trapped in a confined space (like a late-night movie or a red eye flight) with a screaming, spoiled child. My friend Sue recently had a full moon party for her two-month old baby and I was terrified when she asked me to hold him, even when it was only for a few seconds so she could snap a photo of us together. Her son was very calm but I was so scared that I might accidentally drop him.

I am also not dating anyone at the moment. There was someone special for the last two months, but like many others before him, it turned out that he just wanted to be friends.

Friends. That..that word is the bane of every single girl's existence, especially if it comes out of a man they're crazy about. Short of strapping the poor man to a chair and holding a gun to his head to force a fake declaration of affection, there really wasn't anything that I could do to change his mind. 

I honestly couldn't breathe when he dropped the bomb. But as difficult as it is (I'm not made of cold marble, I do have feelings), I think the best thing to do is to quit him cold turkey until I can calmly communicate with him without silently fighting the urge to weep. This could take a thousand years so don't hold your breath.

Okay enough about the faux break-up. Let's move on.

When it comes to having a permanent home, you're looking at someone who moved six times in the past five years. I also spent nine years, from age 13 to 22, away from my family. First it was the five-year boarding school, then college for a year, followed by three years of uni. Home became a postal address I only use whenever I'm required to have snail mail sent to me.

These days whenever someone says the word home to me, my mind conjures an image of my rented apartment in PJ that I really loved. After renting a room for years, I finally decided to live alone and be the lady of my manor in the sky. The apartment was poorly maintained (my block usually had only one elevator working) and located in a ghetto with drug dealers and prostitutes walking freely, but it was the only apartment that I could afford in PJ. I hated the neighbourhood but I somehow managed to mentally block whatever's outside as soon as I step into my unit. My balcony overlooked the hill and on some days I didn't even have to turn on the fan because it was really breezy living on the 21st floor. 

I no longer have a home when I left for Sabah. It was one of the things that hit me the hardest: feeling displaced and away from everything that was familiar. I'm feeling better now, but I do miss home from time to time.

Here in Sabah I work literally just metres away from the coastline, which is one of my lifelong dreams (but in my head it was the Penang coastline instead of Sabah's, to be honest). I am renting a master room in a quiet neighbourhood just 5 kilometres away from my office. There are friends here who steal me for lunch, dinner and beach walks. I also discovered lovely eateries here that cater to a wide spectrum of cravings, from the world's best pumpkin soup in Sailor's Cafe to affordable range of Western dishes at Upperstar.

So what now?

I'm slowly going back into running, starting with brisk walks. I recently went to the Queen Elizabeth Hospital for a way over-due knee check-up. The doctor ruled out running for now, and recommended swimming and brisk walking. He actually laughed when Cher and I said we wanted to try Muay Thai, which was the main reason why I needed that check-up, as Muay Thai is pretty hard on your knees.

Last weekend I joined a 5 kilometre Fit Malaysia run. The run was poorly organised (think huge crowd and two bicycle lanes as our running track) but I managed to clock 12 minutes as my average lap time despite walking most of the time. My best lap time ever since I took up running was 10 minutes, which is not that fast because most fit runners can probably finish 5 kilometres in half an hour. But I'm happy with going back to 10 for now. 

I've also recently discovered yoga, from where else but YouTube. It's a great stress reliever because the poses stretch my tired limbs and also helps me to focus on my breathing. Let's hope I can keep it up as the poses might get more difficult as I progress.

It's 11 pm right now, which feels similar to 1 am in PJ. The sun is up around 6 am and full-force daylight greets you with a vengeance before 6.30 am. By 7 pm I would be dreaming of my bed because I have to wake up at daylight in order to catch the 7 am bus to work.

Will I ever settle down, get married, have kids and nest in a home with a white picket fence? Honestly, I don't know. The dating pool shrinks as years go by while strands of white hair keep announcing their presence to all and sundry. Marriage seems to be an epidemic amongst my peers but somehow it manages to skip me.

All I know is this: whatever happens, I choose to be happy :)

I choose me.

Good night!

The Geek Goddess

Snippets of Sabah So Far

It's my twelfth day here in Sabah. I flew to Kota Kinabalu on my birthday last month (because the cheapest Air Asia ticket was on that day hahaha), so I had about a week to hunt for a place to stay before I started work on 2nd September.

I promised to write about Sabah so tada! But no pictures because le Internet is le horrible.

Anyway here goes:

Pre-departure

Some of my friends thought I was nuts to pack up and leave without getting long-term accommodation. There were also others who thought I was brave to uproot myself and start fresh in an unfamiliar territory. The general consensus: they all thought I was crazy. With friends like these.... T_T

I've always been the "Why not?" kind of person when it comes to amazing opportunities, which has usually worked out pretty well in the past, and so I found myself saying yes to being based in Kota Kinabalu for a dream career in a non-profit organisation.

As for accommodation, I also had been searching for apartments even before I bought my flight ticket, but the search was frustrating due to a few factors:

1. I didn't know Sabah's real estate scene at all.

My budget and expectations were unrealistic as I expected Kota Kinabalu and the surrounding suburbs to mirror the real estate rates of Kuching. Turns out even dodgy-looking unfurnished studio/one-room apartments in a flood-prone area (flash floods are a huge problem here) require almost RM3000 upfront. If you include the cost of purchasing the bare minimum furnishings, that could push the costs even much higher. I wanted to really know a place before I was ready to part with an arm and a leg. 

2. I didn't know Sabah at all, including transportation and traffic conditions. 

According to my friends, places that are located within the 5km radius from my office can have varying travel time due to road works etc. Factor in flash floods after heavy rain and you'll take forever to get moving.

3. I still needed to be there in person.

My lovely Sabahan friends offered to help me view the apartments but ultimately it would be up to me to decide how I feel about the unit, the location and other factors. So I might as well be there myself.

I didn't have a family or a permanent place to stay in PJ/KL, so I had to pack up everything and move out within three weeks after getting the job offer. I sold my furniture to friends and neighbours, packed up most of my belongings in my car for storage at a friend's house, while the rest I mailed ahead of me, and took with me on the flight.

There were many farewell and birthday get togethers with friends when they found out that I was leaving. Some of them I had to turn down because I was really running out of time to do everything. I hope to make it up to them the next time I come to PJ/KL.

The night before I left, I managed to squeeze in a farewell dinner with some ex-colleagues and a last minute furniture sale to a neighbour, so it was a given that the day of my departure was utter madness. :

3am - finished packing

4.30am - finished loading stuff into the car and drove a heavily-laden car SLOWLY

5am - reached a friend's house and showered there

6.45am - reached another friend's to drop the car and went to the airport in hers

10.20am - up up and away

I didn't sleep at all the night before, so I dozed off a few times in my friend's car. Sleeping in the flight proved to be futile because there was an enfant terrible sitting in the row in front of me, who was spoiled rotten by her stupid parents and grandparents. She kept screaming for attention (I want my toy! I want a hug! I want to sit here! I want to sit there! I want this! I want that!) and in my head I was throwing that mollycoddled child off the plane over and over again.

If we insist on giving people tests before they drive on the road, why can't we insist on tests before people reproduce and inflict their spoiled offspring onto the unsuspecting public? Not everyone is fit for parenthood and misbehaving kids in public are usually a sign of lazy/bad parenting.  

Temporary accommodation

A few days before my flight, I booked a single room at a backpackers' hostel called PODs. It's my first time staying at a backpacker's hostel and a lot of my friends marvelled at this fact hahaha. They're located in Api-Api Centre, and the staff were super friendly. I got to know the lovely owner named Maria, who made a hilarious effort to introduce me to some of her staff as "someone who works in WTF". The rest of us in the lounge almost died laughing hahaha.

My spacious room at PODs cost RM38/night and came with a mattress and the bedding, an IKEA wardrobe (I'm a recovering IKEA addict haha I have an IKEA radar in my head), free WiFi and simple self-service breakfast in the lounge. There are four communal showers (two showers with water heater) and my room comes with centralised air-conditioning AND also a ceiling fan.

There are plenty of cabs waiting outside of PODs and the Wawasan bus terminal which supplies buses to the outskirts of Kota Kinabalu is just a 5-min walk away. Across the road is also a hugely popular mall called Centrepoint.

I usually have trouble sleeping in a new place but I was so tired that I slept soundly on my first night at PODs. In my opinion, if you're travelling alone or as a couple and you just need a clean, convenient, and safe place to stay, PODs is the best hostel to stay in Kota Kinabalu. 

Long-term accommodation

Based on my experience, it's best to call the advertiser the same day the rental ad goes up because good places get snapped up really fast. I mainly went online to search for apartments such as on Mudah.my, iProperty and Propwall.

My initial plan was to get an unfurnished studio/one-room apartment where it's easy to get a bus. My budget was RM600-RM700/month, with my max figure capped at RM800/month (this was my rent for a 3-bedroom unfurnished apartment in the dodgy end of Damansara Perdana). 

To my horror, I discovered that unfurnished studio/one-room apartments here can go really high, as minimum as RM900/month! So I had to get my head out of the clouds, come down to earth and rent a furnished master room instead. I found it in a house located in Kepayan Ridge, where the bus terminal, cab stand, and so many shops are within walking distance. There's even a mall within 15 minutes of walking from the house.  

Driving around

I also rented a car for the first three days of my stay. It was immensely helpful in my real estate search because I ended up checking out places like Likas, Penampang, Kepayan, Putatan and Sepanggar. The rates differ according to car model, including whether it's an automatic or manual transmission. 

For the first two days I rented an automatic Perodua Kenari for RM80/day. I wanted either a Perodua Viva or a Kenari because their back seats can fully recline and would be helpful in transporting stuff.

On my third day I couldn't extend the Kenari rental because it was already booked by the next customer, so the guy rented out an old manual Perodua Kancil to me at only RM50/day. I ended up parking it most of the day because it was such torture driving it:

1. The air-conditioning was temperamental. So sometimes I had to roll down the windows because it wasn't working.

2. The windows were sometimes jammed.

3. The speedometer didn't work haha if I ever got pulled over for speeding that would be my excuse! 

4. After parking,  I sometimes had to turn on the ignition a few times before the car roared back to life.

5. The steering wheel wasn't a power steering one. Nice workout for your arms (not!)

I had never driven in Kota Kinabalu or its surrounding areas before, so I relied a lot on Waze, Google Maps, and a paper map. I also called friends when I wasn't sure of a place. For the most part it was easy driving here because most drivers drive at a leisurely pace, are quite patient and polite too. It rained every afternoon that I was driving but I didn't see any road accidents nor heard anyone honking when traffic wasn't moving. 

Getting around by cab

The airport cab from Terminal 2 (which is the low-cost carrier terminal) to Centrepoint costs RM30. As for getting cabs to go around the Kota Kinabalu city or its suburbs...PLEASE DON'T GET INTO ONE.

I discovered one day that cabs here are daylight robbers-on-wheels. I was late for work and had missed the 7am bus (I say 7am but it actually leaves whenever the bus is full wtf), so I took a cab from Kepayan Ridge to Centrepoint. It was about 5km and we were stationary for maybe 3 minutes in the entire journey. The cab driver quoted me RM13 without the meter but I insisted on turning the meter on so that I have something to compare to. The final fare? 

RM15!

Getting around by bus

Buses are plenty here and you can find those going to the suburbs on the outskirts of Kota Kinabalu in front of Marina Court (the Wawasan Terminal nearby is currently renovated). Long-distance buses are located at other terminals.

From Kepayan Ridge I take the 14, 14A and 14B orange-white bus to Marina Court (which is 5 mins' walk from my office) and the fare is RM1.30 (about ten times cheaper than a cab fare). Based on my observation (read: long wait at the Kepayan Ridge bus terminal), one bus leaves approximately every hour.

The buses here will only depart once it is full or almost full, and most of them are old and have no air-conditioning. You pay the fare to the driver when you get off. The good thing about buses here is that the drivers are generally careful and do not drive fast like the mad bus drivers in KL do (those in KL probably have nine lives, who knows). Also, unlike in KL and PJ where no one gets off the bus even if they're blocking your exit, people here will get off to give you way before boarding the bus again.

Healthcare

Private generic clinics can cost an arm and a leg here, even if you only have a normal fever. The cheapest quote I got from a colleague was minimum RM60 per visit. As for dentists, a visit will set you back at least RM150.

There's a multi-department centre called Urban Transformation Centre in Sembulan where Malaysians pay as little as RM2 to see a medical assistant (supposedly there are no GPs at the clinic) or even a dentist at its 1Malaysia clinic. You can also renew your driver's license at the post office, renew your passport at the immigration department, or even pay your Streamyx bills at the TMPoint branch here. Parking is free and it's easy to get buses here too. Very convenient.

Mobile coverage 

I'm not sure about other telcos but DiGi's coverage in Kota Kinabalu and its surrounding areas is HORRENDOUS. I was lost on my way back from 1Borneo and almost drove to Menggatal because Waze couldn't get a signal BECAUSE DiGi HAD NO SIGNAL DURING THE RAIN.

DiGi consistently fails to provide service the moment the skies pour down here. Every time it rains, without fail, I will not have a signal on my phone. Even on a sunny day, I sometimes can't load a webpage on my laptop that is tethered to my phone. 

The moment my contract with DiGi ends in July 2015, I will be switching to another telco unless DiGi's coverage improves.

Internet connection

If you're used to high-speed Unifi and you suddenly have to move to Sabah, please try to wean yourself off this luxury. Mourn if you must, because if you're like me (I need to be plugged in every day), you'll be so bloody frustrated when you get here.

There are areas covered by Unifi in Sabah but they're very few and far in between. My housing area is not covered by Unifi yet so I had to switch to Streamyx (which is slightly better than good old dial-up connection of yesteryears wtf) or risk being fined RM500 because I still have a contract with Unifi till next year.

I've surrendered my Unifi paraphernalia to TMPoint and while I wait for the good folks at Streamyx to come over, I have to rely on my wretched DiGi connection to surf the net.

Language

Try to speak Malay anywhere you go in Sabah, as Sabahan Malay is widely spoken here. It is almost similar to the official Malay language, but has a different twang and plenty of unique words in it. There are many Sabahans I've met on the streets who can speak English decently, so I suspect switching back to speaking mainly in Sabahan Malay is either a force of habit or they're not confident enough to speak fully in English.

I used to speak Sabahan Malay fluently when I was in uni because I had a lot of Sabahan friends, but I've gone rusty from not practising it over the years. For the first few days here, I spoke mainly in English and that got me really a lot of stares hahaha. I felt like a coconut whenever that happened (read: dark-skinned on the outside but ang moh on the inside ahaha)

I'm doing better now though. Speaking a language is like riding a bicycle; you'll get back into the groove once you practise it again.

The end

So that's it for now. I'm super tired from walking around the past two days in an effort to get back to running. Did a lot of stairs today and my recovering knee, which I injured in May this year (while lifting my grandma haha), surprisingly took it well. 

Likas Bay and Perdana Park in Tanjung Aru are two lovely places for jogs because you get to see the sea as you huff and puff in the cold salty breeze. I'm looking forward to my first 5K run after three years on the side lines, which will happen in two weeks' time in Likas Bay.

Good night!

The Geek Goddess

It's Amazing - Jem

Do it now

You know who you are

You feel it in your heart

And you're burning and wishing

At first, wait, won't get it on a plate

You're gonna work for it harder and harder

And I know 'cause I've been there before

Knocking on the doors with rejection (rejection)

And you'll see 'cause if it's meant to be

Nothing can compare to deserving your dream

[Chorus:]

It's amazing, it's amazing all that you can do

It's amazing, it makes my heart sing

Now it's up to you

Patience, now, frustration's in the air

And people who don't care

Well it's gonna get you down

And you'll fall (fall)

Yes you will hit a wall

But get back on your feet

And you'll be stronger and smarter

And I know 'cause I've been there before

Knockin' down the doors, won't take "No" for an answer

And you'll see 'cause if it's meant to be

Nothing can compare to deserving your dream

Heard this song for the first time in the Sex and The City movie (I LOVE the series!). Was watching it again today for God knows how many times already and am struck by how fitting this song is when it comes to my life right now.

You see, after building my life for the past five years in Red Henna City, I am going to move (in less than a month!) to the Land Below the Wind.  

Will write more about it once I have the time to breathe!

The Geek Goddess

A Guide to Going Freelance Full-Time or Running Your Own Business From Home

When we said goodbye to 2013 and rang in 2014 (by we, I mean most of you, because I didn't even stay up that night zzzzzzzzzzz), I never thought my life would change so much this year.

One of the major changes was switching from being a full-time salaried copywriter to a full-time freelance writer and (struggling!) businesswoman.

Whenever I mention to new acquaintances what I do for a living, most of them would say I'm so lucky to work from home as my own boss. But honestly, being a full-time entrepreneur, like other careers, has its own ups and downs.

So for those of you who are interested to go solo career-wise, since I have done three months' worth of legwork, I hereby present for your benefit the pros and cons of being a full-time freelancer or a business owner working from home:

Photo credit: Google

PROS OF GOING FREELANCE FULL-TIME OR RUNNING YOUR OWN BUSINESS FROM HOME

1. You have more control of your time.

- It's SO NICE to be able to run errands during normal office hours instead of having to apply for one day's leave from work like before.

2. No traffic congestion during your commute to and from work.

- It's just an easy stroll from your bedroom to your workspace.

3. No work dress code.

- You can even work in your PJs!

4. No office politics or gossip.

- Because the only staff in the office is you. Yay!

5. You think like a business owner instead of salaried staff.

- Because you're now running an empire enterprise. 

6. Hobbies and interests previously neglected are now getting some love.

- Being my own boss allows me a degree of freedom to attend any social events I like, even if it's done during office hours.

- I also get to try new recipes more frequently now since I work from home.

7. Savings!

- My commuting expenses are almost zero (I do have to meet clients from time to time) because I no longer drive to work daily, so I save on fuel, toll charges, and parking fees.

8. More sense of ownership and pride over your work.

- Since you're involved from A to Z (e.g. pitching your proposal, giving a quotation, and then producing the work), you will feel more invested in what you do.

CONS OF GOING FREELANCE FULL-TIME OR RUNNING YOUR OWN BUSINESS FROM HOME

1. Loneliness.

- Unless you have housemates, you will feel pretty isolated from the human population.

2. Your brain will work non-stop!

- Because you work at home, your brain will think you're in work mode every goddamn waking hour.

3. Public holidays mean NOTHING.

- Since you pretty much can choose which day to rest from work, every day is a potential holiday.

4. Your home might not be the best work environment.

- Headphones and a kick-ass playlist come in handy if you have neighbours who renovate their apartments at ALL HOURS, or have demon children who scream ALL DAY.

5. No tangible work perks.

- You have to pony up your own contributions for EPF.

- If you're sick, try not to feel too much pain when you pay for your medical bills out of your own pocket.

6. No monthly salary.

- The uncertainty of my next pay cheque hit me the hardest because I do have financial commitments. 

- It gets even worse if your client has selective amnesia and decides to conveniently forget that they owe you money. T_T

7. Any rejection feels more personal than it should be, because you're more invested in your work.

- I had a client who wanted my company to provide corporate re-branding, corporate communications and digital marketing. 

- After a series of meetings, we worked hard to prepare a comprehensive proposal based on their needs.

- They were impressed by our pitch, and called for a quotation.

- In the end the client refused our proposal because they were only willing to pay 10% of the market rate. Unbelievable. 

8. More pressure

- You feel more pressure to succeed because you're running your own company. 

- If you don't have the tools to deal with this (e.g. a strong mind, good friends to cry to), it will break you.

I never regretted going into freelance mode full-time and starting a company. It's been a baptism of fire, really, and I am so happy that I can cross them off my bucket list. *shakes fist triumphantly*

However, in retrospect, there are things that I should have done before plunging into running my own enterprise, so let me save you some headache and list them below:

Photo credit: Google

WHAT TO DO BEFORE GOING FREELANCE FULL-TIME OR RUNNING YOUR OWN BUSINESS FROM HOME

1. Minimise financial commitments.

- Pay off any debts you have, if possible. 

- Put off any major purchases or expenses.

2. Have enough savings to last for the first six months. 

- You're lucky to see a cent of profits during this time, but your bills must still be paid on time.

3. Network as much as possible - put feelers out there to get possible business leads.

- Some of the leads I got were from friends' word of mouth.

- People are more likely to hire you if they know you or know your referees, who can vouch for your skills and experience.

4. Get peer review for every client before agreeing to work for them.

- Avoid clients with a history of non-payment or difficulty to work with, especially the ones who change their minds every five seconds.

- Almost every freelancer I know has at least one bad client they swear they will never ever work for again. 

5. Undergo a short business course or attend a few seminars. 

- It's hard to transition from thinking like a salaried staff to thinking like a business owner, so a short course or seminars might help in kicking things off.

6. Get a dedicated business mentor, preferably someone in the same industry

I am very lucky to have friends who are freelancers and business owners, but none of them work in the same industry, so they might not know the common pitfalls. 

If you have any tips to add to my lists, feel free to submit them in the Comments section below! :)

The Geek Goddess

Tempahan Mengubahsuai Atau "Altering" Baju Raya

Dua minggu lagi nak sambut raya :)

Kalau beli baju raya online atau di kedai, kadang-kadang terlalu labuh. 

Jika perlu ubah atau "alter" kaki kain, kaki seluar, atau lengan baju, bolehlah hantar kat saya:

RM10 untuk sehelai baju atau seluar. 

RM18 untuk sepasang baju (contoh: baju kurung - baju dan kain).

Syarat-syarat:

• Pastikan bahagian yang ingin dipotong tiada manik/batu/labuci. 
• Tarikh terakhir terima tempahan "alter" baju raya ialah Rabu, 23 Julai 2014.
• Untuk ubahsuai baju biasa, boleh hantar tempahan bila-bila masa, asalkan sebulan dari tarikh mengambil.

Untuk pertanyaan, sila hubungi customtailorpj[AT]gmail.com

Home Is Where The Durians Are

Below are excerpts of an article I wrote recently for My Malaysia. Happy reading! :)

The Geek Goddess

Home Is Where The Durians Are

I was a young conservation educator at wildlife NGO in Malaysia when I first met Mike. A British national then in his sixties, he sported mostly silver strands on his head and an equally silver beard. This was eight years ago and yes, it’s now my turn to sport salt-and-pepper streaks in my tresses. No signs of a beard though (thank God!).

Fondly known as Uncle Mike, this sprightly gentleman has been a valuable asset to Malaysia’s wildlife conservation as a researcher, trainer and mentor. A multitude of wildlife researchers from different organisations have benefitted from his wildlife study design and data analysis “boot camps”. These special workshops share insights on estimating wildlife occupancy, density, and demographic parameters such as survival.

As for the social side of conservation, Mike was also instrumental in helping me design a social survey for stakeholders living in and around Batang Ai National Park and Lanjak-Entimau Wildlife Sanctuary. These are two protected areas in Sarawak where viable orang utan populations have been found. The social survey was a culmination of years of conservation education activities in these areas, and they served to foster awareness and sense of ownership amongst the communities.

My team and I were very lucky to have Mike on board as our mentor and main architect of the survey.  He assisted us during months of designing and testing survey questions to avoid bias, besides doing simulations and modelling to explore different sample sizes and sampling strategies. Based on results of this study, the first species-specific radio programme in Sarawak was developed and broadcasted to promote the importance of protected areas and the ecosystem services that they provide.

Read more on My Malaysia

The Lost Boys: A Dating Epidemic

Achtung: This post contains strong vocabulary and should be read with a huge glass of scotch.

I guess it's normal to have expectations when it comes to dating. I do expect my dates to have manners, and also the ability to spell properly. Haha.

I also expect someone who claims that they're interested in me to keep maintaining contact. You know, to show that they're still interested to get to know me more. 

See, I never knew how to play dating games that women supposedly play to keep men interested. If I like you, I will try to contact you, and I will try to know you more. That's my only dating M.O.

I have been in the dating scene for the past 11 bloody long years, and it seems to me that there were a lot of guys who claimed to like me, conversed with me regularly, went out with me a few times, then texted or called me semi-daily...

ONLY FOR THEM TO GO *POOF* ONE DAY AND NEVER EVER RETURN!

Or...they are alive but they gave me so many excuses on why they're not regularly contacting me like before:

- My cat died.

- My car died.

- I am busy these days. *I guess we women have all the time in the world, eh?*

- I am overwhelmed by work/family/my stupid team's performance in the World Cup.

Is there a dating black hole for men that we women are not aware of? That maybe there is a secret button on their phone that they accidentally press and their phone screen would swallow them whole and incapacitate them from contacting us further? 

I am very curious to find out why men seemed to drop off the face of the earth after making a lot of effort to imprint their existence in our female brains. I know I am not the only woman to whom this weird disappearing act happens regularly. One of my super nice guy friends said that his female friends also complained about the same thing.

Are the lost boys an epidemic for which there is no known cure?

I guess what I'm trying to say is: if you're not interested in someone, please don't waste their time by contacting them. Ever. Grow some balls and spare us the heartache, thankyouverymuch.  

Because of this mysterious epidemic, I am getting really sick of dating. Sometimes I feel like checking into a convent, swearing men off forever and develop the habit of looking great in a *cough* habit. Teehee.

My *ahem* pragmatic brain always seems to think, "Look, you did your best, but let's face it, this dating shit is not working out for you". My ever-optimistic heart however, begs a different interpretation: "Hey, not all men are bad. There's someone out there for you. You just haven't found him yet". 

I have been searching for him for 11 years, for fuckitty fuck's sake. Where the hell is he? Is his sense of direction so poor to the point of being ridiculous? 

I went through 11 years of disastrous dating attempts and four relationships that went south, yet my stupid heart still wants someone who complements me to grow old with and to raise a family with. Despite my strong objections against having unruly children in public spaces (hello screaming toddlers in a cinema showing a late-night horror movie), I do want to have (well-mannered) children one day. And I know I don't want to be a single parent.  

But as I get older, I have less tolerance for this bullshit called dating. Whenever men give me excuses like "Oh I'm so busy picking up my dog's poo, so I'll text you in another century", all I can hear is this: You're not worth my time, bitch.

Time is a limited resource, gentlemen. If you like me, make it worth my time. And if you don't like me, it's ok to be upfront about it and save both of us a lot of grief instead of playing stupid hide-and-seek. I'm a grown woman. I can handle rejection. *flips hair and roars* 

What I cannot handle are stupid boys who waste my time.

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to get back to running my one-woman empire.

The Geek Goddess

What to Do When Your System Software Goes Down

Have you ever gone to a counter at a bank, or a government office, only to find out that their "system" is down and you had to come back another day?

I'm sure a lot of us have faced this situation before. What irks me the most is this lazy response: "Our system is down, so we can't do this for you now."

Or this even lazier one: "Our system has been down for days, so we can't do this for you now/this week/this year/this decade."

Gee, thanks.

Most banks and government offices only open their counters during business hours, so to do something there would require you to sacrifice your lunch break or a vacation day so you could be there....only to find that the system is down and the staff are happily chatting about the latest celebrity gossip.

I also have civil servant friends who keep complaining that their Human Resource Management Information System is always down during their peak filing period. And guess what? It happens EVERY.SINGLE.YEAR.

What is my point here exactly?

1.  THE PROBLEM WON'T GO AWAY UNLESS YOU FIX IT

Pick up the phone and call your vendor. Get them to commit to resolve the issue within a fixed amount of time, say 24 hours. Then call them at frequent intervals to check on their progress. It is your right to demand that your system runs as smoothly as it's supposed to.

As for your end users, inform them of the downtime, apologise for the inconvenience, then commit to a resolution date and time, if possible.

2. IF YOU ARE A COMPANY OWNER, ADD A CLAUSE IN THE MAINTENANCE CONTRACT THAT STIPULATES IF UNPLANNED DOWNTIME IS MORE THAN X%, YOU'RE GETTING A DISCOUNT

It's normal to have planned downtime for maintenance or upgrading. Banks regularly do this a few hours in a day for their websites, usually after midnight when web traffic is slow. 

We vendors usually deploy changes to the system from midnight to six in the morning or maybe earlier if we can finish faster. The key thing about planned downtime is to inform your customer in advance so that they can inform their end users in return. Then do whatever you need to do during low traffic period to minimise the effect on end users.

As for unplanned downtime.....hey, shit happens. However, if you are expecting a peak period of usage (for online banking it might be during payday), have your team on standby to monitor how things go. 

I used to work for a vendor that handles the SMS blast system for a telecommunications company. One of the types of content blasted is news from sources such as The Star and New Straits Times. The system is equipped to blast at regular intervals. However, during special events like the World Cup or the general election, news updates will come up fast into the system from the content providers. If we don't clear them fast enough by blasting more regularly to subscribers, they'll clog up the system, stop it from blasting, and prevent subscribers from getting their updates on time.

Whenever the system gets clogged, our team would have to fix it, even if it happened at 12am when we're in deep sleep and dreaming about kittens. When shit happens, we fix it. 

Like I said earlier, as a customer, you have the right to demand that your system is always up and running except during scheduled downtime. So put in that discount clause to make sure your vendor knows you mean business if shit happens.

3. IF YOUR SYSTEM GOES DOWN WAY TOO OFTEN, YOU MIGHT NEED TO UPGRADE IT...

There is no perfect system or software in this world. When a bug exists, you can either submit a maintenance ticket (which is what people usually do if their off-the-shelf system support is outsourced overseas, such as India) or call your vendor straight away. 

Off-the-shelf software usually releases updates that are automatically sent to you when you have Internet connection on your device. Customised software, however, might require a house call by the vendor.

Like any other business, a vendor is supposed to make their customers happy. So they should be prepared for peak periods, run maintenance checks regularly, and assess if your system is due for an upgrade.

If the system repeatedly goes down because of the vendor's incompetence, the customer might tell them to kindly take a hike, and worse, sign up with their competitors.

4. ....... OR GET A NEW SOFTWARE VENDOR  

At RedBean Software, we provide customised software because we believe each business has its own specific needs. RedBean's customised software can accommodate growth and cater to key business objectives, as our software is designed with your long-term business goals in mind. 

As software specialists with over nine years of industry experience, we make it our business to ensure our customers' businesses run smoothly using our high-quality products and solutions. 

To assess your software needs and craft the right software for your business, please contact us at sales@redbeandev.com and we will get back to you within 24 hours.

The Geek Goddess

Kotobian Tadau Tagazo Do Kaamatan and Gayu Guru Gerai Nyamai!

Sa..dua...tiga..empat...lima...enam...tuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuujuh! 

Selamat ngintu ari Gawai ngagai bala kita ti bisi maca blog tu. Gayu guru gerai nyamai, lantang senang nguan menua. Anang guai ngabang enda pala agi sebening, enggai ke bebadi ba jalai alun. Ooooohaaaa!

Sia juga mo bilang Kotobian Tadau Tagazo Do Kaamatan sama kamurang urang-urang Sabah. Pelan-pelan kalo moginum ah. Aramaiti! *pardon my rusty Bahasa Sabah hehe*

Folks in Sabah will celebrate Kaamatan, the yearly Harvest Festival, on 31 May, followed by a celebration of similar purpose across the state lines in Sarawak called Gawai Dayak on 1 June (although we start partying the night before hehe).

I typically take one week off from work to fly home and celebrate Gawai with my family. This is because I would first have to fly to Kuching, spend one to two days there, and then travel to my mother's rural hometown.

However I have been missing Gawai for two years in a row now due to work. Last year, it was because the boss wouldn't let me take leave (she's a Singaporean so she didn't particularly have the mental capacity to process the significance of Gawai). As for this year, I recently went home in the second week of May, and flew back to Red Henna City after two weeks.  

So much has happened since early April. Let me do a recap:

1. I decided to leave my job

I honestly loved the work I do, creating marketing content for multiple mediums. Most of my colleagues were fun to work with as well.

However, after much consideration, I had to accept the fact that the company culture was not a great fit for me. It was heavily Sino-centric, with Mandarin and Cantonese being the official languages in company events and meetings. 

As a writer, I rely on words to process meanings and it was very frustrating to attend something conducted in a language you barely know, let alone understand. Very often I had to steal a colleague to be my translator, denying them the chance to fully be immersed in the event, and having to do this never failed to make me feel like an invalid.

There were also other reasons why I left that I would rather not mention here.

2. My grandmother had a stroke, so I flew home

"Nenek is in the hospital", texted my sister on 27 April.

I swear my heart stopped beating at that exact moment. 

Later on, I found out that she had suffered a mini stroke at home, while seated during tea. Luckily she was not alone during the attack.

When I called my parents afterwards, both of them tried to sound normal on the phone, retreating into their protective mode, so as not to worry me. They had done this many times before, such as when Nenek had a nasty fall last year, or when they got into a car accident. I know they mean well, but no matter where I am, I am still family and deserve the right to know, goddammit!

They realised that their cover was blown when I asked upfront about Nenek.  

Nenek was immobile and had a feeding tube inserted, hence she needed round-the-clock care. Dad became the designated driver and stayed at home to do the chores. Everyone else (save for one horrid, selfish person who shall not be named and shamed here) looked after Nenek in shifts. 

I flew home a week after she was admitted into the hospital as I had an interview two days prior. Because I was not working, I would take the week night shifts as the rest had work or school during the day and needed their sleep. In return, they would sacrifice their off days and weekends to be at Nenek's side so I can get some shut-eye. Some of us even pulled 24-hour shifts because we didn't have enough manpower.

The day I flew home, I actually had a high fever (worst trip ever hahaha) and self-medicated while at KLIA2 (Panadol, multivitamins, Tiger Balm, Clarinase, and a mountain of tissues) so I could be well when I touched down. Un-fucking-fortunately, the fever ended up overstaying its welcome (never welcomed to begin with anyway) and I had it for one whole damn week due to lack of sleep.

Nenek's appetite had improved after the feeding tube was removed, and she slowly regained about 75% use of her right arm. My sister and I resorted to many things (including smuggling in my sister's tiny B&W TV hahaha) to keep her entertained and awake during the day, so that she could return to her normal sleeping cycle. Since admitted to the hospital, she had been sleeping all day due to boredom and then stayed awake all night. 

After her morning bath and breakfast, we would carry her to her chair for physiotherapy. Then we'd let her listen to the Iban Radio broadcast on our phones, watch aeroplanes and birds go by, let her watch Hawaii Five-0 (she loves cop dramas), and even let her browse through our phones to see photos of our dogs and family members. We also insisted that she have her meals on her own while seated there. 

Nenek was finally discharged after three weeks of staying at Le Château de Hôpital. At the time of writing, she is still unable to walk on her own, and had to hold on to something when she stands up. My parents decided to take her home to the longhouse for Gawai despite her immobility, hoping that the festivities and catching up with our relatives would cheer her up and motivate her to start walking.

Throughout her ordeal, Nenek never stopped praying for recovery. A devout Christian, I would catch her mumbling a prayer a few times a day. To be honest, I don't think I'd be able to show faith as strong as hers if I was in her shoes. I'd probably start drinking gin and tonic every day hahaha.

3. Behold, the spanking new KLIA2

I flew to Kuching 5 days after the new airport was open for business. Skybus only started operating from 9 May onwards to and from KLIA2, so I took a cab to KL Sentral, and then boarded the KLIA Express. 

The new airport is actually a huge shopping mall with an airport attached, almost like an afterthought. Plenty of the shops were still under renovation. One of the things I love about it is AIR-CONDITIONING, something that LCCT severely lacked. In fact, an American friend who was visiting years ago was shocked to see that our low-cost terminal looked like a huge barn!

KLIA2 had stationed many helpful staff to help with enquiries, but I really don't appreciate trekking for miles just to reach the boarding hall. They also need to put up more signages, especially for places that are hidden away from the main flow of foot traffic. 

The bus counter was located in a corner with no huge signs, and while there maybe 10 counters in place, only a few were open and the staff really took their time to process bookings. 

Security was tighter than when I last flew. We were asked to take out all of electronic devices and place them in a tray (previously we could leave them in bags for the scan). We were also asked to take off our belts and watches.

4. Aboard Malindo Air

I boarded Malinda Air for the first time during my trip home. Was pleasantly surprised to discover huge legroom, a TV screen, and light refreshments served onboard despite being a low-cost airline. We had a rough landing though.

Little did I know that things would be worse during my trip back to KL via the same airline. In KIA, the airline shared the boarding hall with another airline flying earlier than us and bound for Indonesia, so we weren't allowed to sit there until they had boarded their plane. 

When it was time to board and our plane was not even in sight yet, I asked the ground staff if we were going to be delayed, but she confidently said that we would leave in time.

What a liar.

Our flight ended up delayed by more than an hour, without any announcements, or even apologies from the captain or any of the crew. I had planned to take the 6.30pm Skybus to 1Utama so that I would be home before 10pm. Since I arrived way later than that, I took the 8.30 Aerobus to KL Sentral, then hopped into a cab to go home. I got home close to midnight.

5. In the midst of all the chaos, I co-founded a software company

As someone whose career has spanned more than eight years now, I am blessed to be able to cross off a few things on my bucket list:

a) Be an educator - done!

b) Work for a non-profit - done!

c) Work for a global brand - done twice!

d) Work in advertising - done twice!

e) Be a writer - done!

f) Start my own company - RECENTLY DONE! :)

My friend (and sometimes arch nemesis lol) Mickey and I have known each other for more than five years. We've always wanted to collaborate professionally as we knew our different personalities, knowledge and set of skills were actually complementary. I have worked with many software engineers before, and he is, by far, THE BEST amongst all of them. We both love tech, and while I can't code from scratch (he can), I am *ahem* great with people and I also have marketing experience. 

We finally started operations for RedBean Software in early May, although the groundwork was actually laid a few months before. We kicked off the process by having many frank discussions about the direction of the company, what our roles would be, and the kind of products and services to offer, amongst other things. 

In the end, we decided to offer software consultancy and a range of customised products such as mobile apps, desktop software and web/cloud solutions for businesses. Our first breakthrough came when a potential client issued an RFP, before our company even had a logo! Unfortunately the project didn't go through as they decided to do it internally.

Since returning from Kuching, both of us have been busy fine-tuning the RedBean Software brand before launching our presence online: the company website, Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn and Google+. 

RedBean Software is our dream come true, and I couldn't ask for a better business partner. :)

Kotobian Tadau Tagazo Do Kaamatan and Selamat Ngintu Gawai Dayak, everyone!

Cheers,

The Geek Goddess