To Love At All Is To Be Vulnerable

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For the past few months or so, I've been having my heart slowly broken over misaligned expectations. Today, after much contemplation, I've decided to finally put a stop to it. I won't go into the details though, because there are always two sides to a story, and it would be delusional to think that I can write about them without a grain of bias.

We enter a new relationship with hopes and dreams and sometimes emotional baggage. We're willing to be vulnerable, to wear our hearts and dreams on emotional placards for all to see, in order to let someone new into our lives, and eventually, into our hearts, hoping that they won't get turned off by our lifelong collection of quirks and die-hard habits.

Like everything I've ever wanted in life, I gave this my best shot. I offered to travel to see him, I cleared my schedule whenever he's in town, and I looked forward to promised calls and texts, never letting my phone out of my sight during the appointed hour. I offered my ears and shoulders in good times and bad times, always rooting for him to be triumphant in all his personal battles. I humbly and sincerely apologised whenever I erred, and every day I worked to be a better person because he, along with every beloved person I have in my life, deserved the best version of me.

I did the best I could, even when there were signs that this was never meant to be.

I had naively hoped that this time, after so many failed relationships, countless bad dates, lengthy late night calls to girlfriends, and rolls of damp tissues, that perhaps, he could finally be the one I would spend the rest of my life with. My parents have been married for the past 34 years, anchoring each other whenever the waves of this sea called Life threaten to drown one of them. I wanted the same thing for myself, for us. 

You can find many online "manuals" on how to deal with heartbreak, but trust me when I say, all the tips in the world won't make it hurt less. You can re-decorate your home, get a new haircut, maybe even take a trip around the world alone, hoping fervently that these distractions can drown the memories you created together. But I know I'll think of him, with a dull ache in my heart, whenever I pass by the places we visited together, whenever I indulge in his favourite dishes, and whenever someone wearing a similar scent to his walks past me.

But one day, this too shall pass, and I'll be ready to be vulnerable again.

Geek Goddess

Iris Simpkins' Monologue in The Holiday

"I understand feeling as small and as insignificant as humanly possible. And how it can actually ache in places you didn't know you had inside you. And it doesn't matter how many new haircuts you get, or gyms you join, or how many glasses of chardonnay you drink with your girlfriends... you still go to bed every night going over every detail and wonder what you did wrong or how you could have misunderstood. And how in the hell for that brief moment you could think that you were that happy. And sometimes you can even convince yourself that he'll see the light and show up at your door. And after all that, however long all that may be, you'll go somewhere new. And you'll meet people who make you feel worthwhile again. And little pieces of your soul will finally come back. And all that fuzzy stuff, those years of your life that you wasted, that will eventually begin to fade."

Geek Goddess

Cosmetics Review: How to Make Make-Up Last Longer On Oily Skin

This is not an advertorial

Hello, kittens! I just want to share some make-up steps that worked for me last week at the company dinner. FYI the event was from 4pm to 1am but I started prepping my face around 12pm. Quite pleased to say that with a few times of blotting and minimal touch-ups, my make-up lasted me the entire night. 

Allow me to give you a little intro to my skin before I start this Stuff I Swear By marathon post. Besides being oily, my face:

• Occasionally has acne when Bloody Mary is in town
• Has residual acne scars from hormonal uni days
• Has uneven tone
• Has some pigmentation spots from exposure to the sun 

Anyhoo, here are the tried and tested seven steps to make your make-up last longer on your oily skin:

1.  Exfoliate

Get an exfoliating facial a few days before your event, or make it a habit to use a facial scrub twice a week

Make-up looks better on a smooth face versus one with dead skin half-peeling all over (yes it happens to me whenever I skip my facial scrub)

I was lucky to get a free facial treatment (one of the perks of writing for a beauty brand!) a few days before the event. I swear I could see the effects immediately: brightened, smoother and bouncier skin.

2. Wash your face. Duh.

Long-lasting make-up needs a clean base. Use a gentle cleanser unless a reddish face is the look that you're going for. Harsh cleaners is a huge no-no because it can strip off the oil from your face, making your skin work overtime to produce more oil.

How do you know if a cleanser is too harsh on you? For me, my personal yardstick is this: if my skin feels too tight or dry after cleansing, then it's too harsh for me.

3. Tone

A toner  helps prep the skin to lock moisture and other products you may be using afterwards. Some may even help brighten and smoothen your skin.

I have been using L'oreal Paris Dermo-Expertise HydraFresh Anti-Shine Icy Toner for a few years now and I love how it makes my skin feel fresh. If the drugstore is out of it, I'll get L'oreal Paris Dermo-Expertise White Perfect Toner instead.

4. Employ some milk of magnesia magic

I've heard about using milk of magnesia to control your oiliness from years ago, but only got brave enough to try it after reading Sam's review here. I got my bottle of milk of magnesia, otherwise known as magnesium hydroxide, at a drugstore. You just need to dab it onto your face with a cotton pad. Re-apply on areas that are frequently oily, such as your T-zone.

Once the milk has dried up, you might see some powdery whitish patches on your face. Just rub them gently with a cotton pad to get them off.

5. Moisturise

Gently massage your moisturiser into your face, then leave it alone for 15 mins.

I use my fave non-oily and non-sticky moisturiser, which is the Follow Me Oil Control + Whitening Mattifying Moisturiser. You can check out my review here. 

6. Prime

I have my own DIY primer, thanks to Vivi who introduced me to V&N Pure Marine Collagen Powder. Just scoop a pinch onto your palm, then mix it with a few drops of water before patting it onto your face. Try to avoid your eyebrows and eyelashes when doing this.

If you spot any white powdery spots on your face once the primer has dried up, that means you are using wayyyy too much of the good stuff. Just wipe them off gentle with a cotton pad.

This primer really helps to control my skin from being oily and shiny, even when I use it on my bare face.

7. Base

I've been using two way foundation for almost ten years and I find it to be the most practical type of foundation: it's not as messy as a liquid foundation, it doesn't suffocate my oily skin like a cream foundation, and it helps to control shine. 

A few weeks ago, I discovered Revlon Photoready Two Way Powder Foundation and a test drive (without a primer) lasted me for about 3 hours before my skin became shiny. 

I like to wear my two way foundation wet, followed by a dry application. Just use a damp sponge to pat the foundation on your face. Once it has dried up, follow up with a dry sponge to pat the powder on.

By using both methods, it guarantees me a medium to full coverage. You can build up coverage with the wet sponge on areas that need more coverage.

The best bit about this is that I don't even have to use a concealer afterwards, which is a huge relief because I really have no idea how to use it!

Seven steps??? Are we done yet?

Not really, unless you want to head out with a colourless face!

After step #7, you can start putting on some war paint lol. If you're adventurous enough, feel free to use strong colours in one or two areas of your face (e.g. smoky eyes and a vibrant lippy shade).

Just don't go overboard and highlight every.single.area. of your face or you'll risk looking like a toddler who just discovered her mum's make-up stash. 

Have fun!

Geek Goddess

Ad: 4 Bedroom Double Storey House in Kuching, Sarawak for Rent/Sale

Location:

* Lorong Shing Yu 3, Taman Shing Yu, Jalan Batu Kawa, Kuching

* 20 mins away from MJC Batu Kawa

* 15 mins away from SMK Batu Kawa

* 15 mins away from Bau

* 10 mins away from SJKC Stapok & SK Stapok

Facilities:

* Kitchen: Build-in cabinets

* Bedrooms: Built-in wardrobes

* Big backyard

* Covered carpark

Sale T&C:

Selling price is RM320,000 (negotiable).

Rental T&C:

* Only for working adults or family. 

* RM700/month.

* 2+1 with RM100 utilities deposit required before moving in.

* Rental to be paid on 1st of every month.

Available March 2014 onwards. 

Please call Mona at 016-8599468 to view. SMS and e-mails will not be entertained.

Living room 1

Living room 2

Master bedroom

Third (small) bedroom

The location map. Taman Shing Yu is opposite Taman Lovelyland.

The Geek Goddess

MIA

Today I realised with much horror that I have not written anything here for about a month now.

Eeeek.

It has been quite a busy period for yours truly. Here's a not-so-short recap of what's been going on for the past one month or so:

February 6 - 28:

La familia

• Flew across the pond back to Red Henna City after a long break with the fam in Camphor Island.
• Hosted my mum and my sis who came to visit for a few days. Mum insisted on dragging her across the pond, alarmed by how obsessed she had become with homework and exams.
• Locked myself out of my bedroom the night I was supposed to pick my fam from the airport. Perfect timing!
• Took the fam to iCity for the first time. Hello, sparking lights, overpriced snacks (a boiled frankfurter costs RM3, I swear I'm not even making this up!) and a pretty warm night!

Self

• I discovered the Suits TV series about two seasons too late. Lol.
• Finally got over my fear of destroying my new sewing machine and stitched a tablecloth as a test on Valentine's Day. Got hooked immediately and so I used it to stitch curtains for the living room. Kicked myself for having such an irrational fear of failure.
• Water disruption in my apartment, followed by power failure. Double mini tragedies. Urgh.
• Lost 2 kg, most likely due to stress.
  

Friends

• Obi-Wan, Cyn's dog, and our old office's mascot, had fallen sick.

March 1 - present day:

Self

• Gained 2kg.
• Thanks to my colleagues who kept asking about it, I finally realised that I did not have a dress for the company's annual dinner, less than a week before D-Day. Went panic shopping to 10 shops in one day. Came home with nothing that suited my body, my budget, and the dress code of the event.
• Sewed a dark emerald toga that costs me less than RM30 in materials. Check out the tutorial here.

• Lost at a speech contest, the same day MH370 went missing. Can't imagine what the family and friends of the passengers and crew must be going through now.
• Lost 2 kg. Hello again, stress.
• Went to Genting for the first time for the company dinner.
• Almost died and gone to heaven upon discovering a huge accessories shop called Rico Galleria in Genting Grand. 

• Decided to DIY my dinner make-up instead of shelling out RM160 for a make-up artist.
• Tried the milk of magnesia trick. Verdict: Fantabulous for keeping the shine at bay!
• Tried Revlon Photoready Two Way Powder Foundation for the first time. Hope to do a review on it.
• Came home from Genting and went straight into the cough-inducing embrace of the thick haze.

Friends

• Bugged friends (hello, Nurrul!) who had sewing experience for days before I decided to make my own dress.
• Discovered Burgatory with JH and DK. Cramped spaces but the juicy burgers made up for it. 
• Created a mannequin with JH as part of our ad-hoc guilt-tripping post-burger workout hahaha.
• Dearest Obi-Wan succumbed to liver failure. I think I used enough tissues to cause deforestation when I got home and the sad news finally sank in. Cyn wrote a poignant piece on him that made me cry even harder whenever I read it.

At the time of writing, MH370 is still missing. Let's pray and hope for the best for all those affected by this tragedy.

The Geek Goddess